Judge, 1889-06-15 · page 13 of 16
Judge — June 15, 1889 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page features a humorous poem mocking a marriage where the wife's speech impediment becomes a vehicle for wordplay and insult. The unnamed narrator marries Emily Payne, a stammering woman, only to discover her stutter allows her to deliver cutting remarks disguised as verbal tics. The satire works through puns: when she stammers "You're an ass—ass—iduous teaser," she's calling him both an ass and an assiduous one. Similar patterns repeat with "dog—dog—matic," "Jew—dicious," and "dam—age." The joke reflects period attitudes treating stuttering as comedic material and assumes readers will find humor in a woman's verbal cleverness being reframed as mere speech impediment. The poem's resolution—the husband mockingly mimicking her—suggests exasperation at being verbally bested by his wife, though the satire's ultimate target remains ambiguous: whether Judge ridicules stammering, nagging wives, or marital discord generally. The page is otherwise filled with period advertisements for medicines, railroads, and consumer goods.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
165 THE STAMMERING WIFE. When deeply in love with Miss Emily Payne, I vowed, if the lady would only be mine, I would always endeavor to please her. She blushed her consent, though the stuttering lass Said never a word except, ‘* You're an ass— ‘An ass—an ass—iduous teaser.” But when we were married I found that my Ruth, The stammering lady, had told the truth ; For often, in oblivious dudgeon, She'd say, if T ventured to give her'a jog, In the way of reproof, ‘* You're a dog—dog—dog— ‘A dog—a dog—matic curmudgeon.” And once, when I said ** We can't afford ‘This extravagant style with our moderate board,” And hinted we ought to be wiser, She looked, I assure you, exceedingly blue, And fretfully cried, “You're a Jew—a Jew— A very ju—dicious adviser." Out of temper, at last, with the insolent dame, And feeling the woman was greatly to blame, To scold me instead of caressing, I mimicked her speech, like a cur that Iam, And angrily said, “You're a dam—a dam—dam— ‘A dam—age instead of a blessing.” e Summer Hosiery » Underwear From the leading European and American manu facturers in Silk, Cotton, Merino, Cashmere, Nainsook and Muslin Underwear. Ladies’ London Silk Mackintoshes. ‘The most desirable as well as the most elegant garment for Summer, Traveling and Driving, MAIL ORDERS RECEIVE PROMPT ATTENTION. 126%28 Cheoliwt Sk CA ' Goo FOR YOUNG AND OLD. ae? Pleasant and agreeable to the hildren take it without objec- foe” Sold by druggists everywhere. Me ean ms nase The same amount by the year costs about $30, in addition to membership fee of $10 paid but once. 320, 322, and 324 Broadway, New York. CHARLES B. PEET, President, stay at home. summer? Send a postal card to this office, and our representative will call upon you. $10,000 insurance, with $50 weekly in- demnity and liberal payment for loss of hand, foot, or eyes, will cost you not over $18 for ten weeks. THE UNITED STATES MUTUAL ACCIDENT ASSOCIATION, AGAINST ACCIDENTS whether you go abroad or Are you going to Europe this JAMES R. PITCHER, Secretary and General Manager. HINDERCORNS Toe only sare Carefor Corns. Bizpaal Uist Eaheustbs and el'Stee ach and Bowel troubles, Also the most, effective cure. for; Rostremgth, and ew tothe weak and aged. soc. and $1.00, at Drgguists. apltal of Montanate grow. PuAE Beers et ata HEI ee Se cena Sori Arfouary tata tbe erie sect diaroers ‘Bion in the fiat shore Rao (4H. RRR. CO,, LEXSEE, VIA WEST SHORE OF WORLD-FAMED HUDSON RI POPULAR ROUTE FOR BUSINESS AND PLEASURE TRAVEL. ignificent Sleeping Cart Without Change. New var and Boston to Sate. y Toraste, Detroit, ‘Toledo, Chicago and St. Louis, Sleeping Cars New York to Toronto Tonal rely by this Route Tickets via West Shore on eale at all ticket offices in the United States and Canada, Ask for tickets via West Shore and see that they read via this route, ‘Address, H. B, KING, 89 Besd Stevet, CLEVELAND, OHIO, ‘The most APPETIZING and WHOLESOME TEMPERANCE DRINK in the world, TRYST, Ask your Draggist or Orocer for tt. . E. HIRES, PHILADELPHIA. CHICAGO, lay 2 LARGEST: AMERICAN: KANUPACTURER FACIAL BLEMISHES Three-tnch Cigar Caper, $10 Thousand ; AVAL Orena, $12; Sam mal A H 8 J wanted.” 7.x. AERO, si FLESS & RIDGE, JUDGE PRINTERS, FIFTH AVENUE AND SIXTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. comicbooks.com