Judge — June 1, 1889 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE ED EMOTION. jaunt through Georgia I came bin by the road-side, and halted for a gourdful of spring-water. Alter repeated knockings at the slab door I found I could arouse nobody, and so cautiously raised the wooden latch and looked in. The interior was like that of hundreds of others that I had seen, and I was about backing out when 1 saw hanging on a peg over the mantel a belt, sword, hat, and accoutrements of a union officer at the time of the war. “Here's a find,” I said to myself, un- consciously, speaking out loud. “Some poor devil of a soldier who, from some cause or other, has buried him- self in this wilderness, with nothing to remind him of past glory and heroism but these faded and battered relies. It’s sad —very sad," and I brushed away a tear. “Don't let yer feelin’s git away with yer, friend,” came a high, squeaky voice at my elbow; and turning, I faced the evident owner of the cabin, a Cracker pure and simple.“ Them ther’ togs b'longed to a Yank what I ketched in swimmin’ in my catfish-pond, "Twuz jest split peas with him whether he kim out ‘live or dead, as I set heaps by them fish, an’ finally we com- permised an’ I done took th’ raiment. Th’ last I seen of him he wus goin’ over yander hill like a scart razor-back, an’ 'f he ain’t been stopped fer shockin’ folks he’s runnin’ now. I kep’ th’ dry-goods, an’ ther’ they be. Got any licker?" SUPERSTITION’S CURSE WAS ON HIM. Swipesey—" Yes, mum, I'm lookin’ for work. starved. Can't ye get me some grub an’ a job? Farmer's wife (handing out a generous meal) —" Poor fellow! Eat this, and then my husband will give you work at $13 per month. He needs a man.” Swipescy (at.a safe distance) "Neuse me, mum. I'm ashamed to own it, but I'm a bit superstitious, an’ I couldn't take the job ‘cause thir- teen is an unlucky number.” across a I'm poor, an’ most COULDN'T USE HIM. Electrician —" So you want a job, do you?” Stranger I saw your advertisement and thought I'd call.” Electrician —" What was your last business ?” Stranger —" | was a street-car conductor, but during the strike I lost my plac Electrician —" I'm sorry, my man, but we have no use for non-con- ductors in our business. Lineman (coming in abruptty) ‘cuse me, podners. Dat last pole kicked.” THERE WAS AN OPENING. “have just completed a collegiate education and desire to devote myself to journalism,” remarked the pale, intellectual young man, as he stepped into the editorial presence without a tremor. “Have you an opening of which I might take advantage?” “Certainly, certainly,” quoth the busy editor. behind you, where you came in, “The opening is right Please shut the door as you go out.” —_S RASPING PERSONALITY. Mr. Statstison —"* Wander whad scart dat cat so?” DOLBROTH—"* 'Spect she finks yo's a boot-jack, Claude." SHE WASN’T DISAPPOINTED. Bagley —" Then you didn’t go to Rome when you were abroad?” Miss De Peyster —* No ;, pa was suddenly called home.” Bagley —* It was too bad that you couldn't ‘do as the Romans do.’ " Miss De Peyster —"1 don't know. 1 like hand-organ music pretty well, but I never thought I should care to play myself.” ON THE STREET-CORNER. 66 TEAR KA For days I've been thinking "—— so charmed to meet you. “And so have 1. I said to George only this morning, I must sce Lottie; but doesn’t it sometimes seem as though"—— “I know it. And no matter how you may plan or de- termine ™ “Isn't it? Still, I Aad made up my mind this week, certainly. I knew you would be dying to hear about Lizzie”. k so. Such an event for her And for fim. 1 feel that it is the best thing that could have happened just at this time. "And in her especially, great good ma Oh, may, indeed! Her nature is peculiarly “Almost too much so, I have sometimes thought. However, I hope this new turn of fate"—— “I think it will. Of course, this experience may be in some respects, and very often is “Still, there is always the hope that it won't be. I like to look on the bri"—— “I invariably do. Now, in this case of Aleck and Lizzie"—— But here the listening scribe was forced to board the car for which he had been waiting, and posterity must ever remain unenlightened as to whether the case of Aleck and Lizzie embraced a wed- ding, a May moving, the advent of an infant cherub, or a divorce suit.