Judge — June 1, 1889 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIS CONTRIBUTION TO THE CONVERSATION. PROFESSOR SUREEDY (s0h0 decanted) — the clarct is just bei ng Denby has asked to dine ith the familys First blood for his j HUM OF THE COURT. A CHICAGO GIRL. has ten figures on one hand, There's a hand that beats a royal fush. A BUFFALO JUDGE speaks of a double-barreled sun as a two-shoot- er, meaning, perhaps, that it is a too-shooter. A CHICAGO EDITOR says he dislikes to work on Friday. Yess and then the inconvenience « Jt Has BE it on all those other days. AID that Grover Cleveland is friendly with Buffalo. Yet we observe that he has bought a residence in the city of Rochester, AMES D. FIs perhaps not accept again a hundred per cent. interest on his investments Lis perhaps still a good financier; and as such he will of good or bad securities. FE. OBSERVE that in the Butler- Porter fight one contestant is as distant from the other as the other is from the one, and there is no indica- tion that either wants to close up. = UGLY MAN of the Rochester 's discuss the slavery question. TO GW. CHILDS on his sistieth birthday—Dear boy, the Childs is good enough to be the father of the veteran, the latter is good enough for the former, and that is the highest compliment that could possibly be paid to either. T IS NOT well to praise ourselves at the expense of our predecessors; and at the same time those old graves in the Trinity and St. Paul churchyards hide quite as much weakness. propor- tionately as any of your fresh and blooming cemeteries. away things which some otherwise good women ma on the part of their husbands than anything else, A man never puts away any- thing, and he can find anything in the AT THE BATHS. Now jump in and try the plung I'm afraid of my heart, ATTENDANT — Youxa Stinsos ATTENDANT — YOUNG Stimson ASSOCIATIO: areformatory exclusively for wom- en, It seems odd that this should of ladies wants . NO, Yh, jump in F fellow, I'm not as strong as T look.” have to be demanded when it is an unmistakable right. Women have as much right to their own colleges and prisons as men have to theirs, ED that Prince Albert Victor of Wales marry an Amer- but we are very democratic here, and the American girl is not likely to accept until she gets the offer. A CRANK who wants office says the president and his secretaries employ dummies with the obvious intention of deceiving seekers of office. Not of deceiving them, we think, Rather with the purpose of gently chiding them when they are insolent and impudent. REBECCA and Washington Smith—names so signed in the letter — write to the president that Washin ton wants an office, and the closes with the words, Remember me as God did the thief on the cross.” The striking novelty of this request is somewhat spoiled by its misrepresen- tation of biblical history. THE YOUNG MAN WARD will probably serve out his term at Sing Sing, as he should; but what derful youth he was when he was able to make a hundred per cent. on paper which may or may not have been ne- gotiable in other localities, and how rtain business houses were ability to do so, won- HER EXACT STATUS. Married female—\ hear that Miss Uppersole is going to be mar- ried. Unmarried female— Miss Up- persole, ch? Why, she’s no chicken.” Married femate she’s a goose.” A NATURAL CONCLUSION. A MARRIAGE had just been con- cluded, and the benediction pro- nounced, when a man rushed into the church, breathless from excitement. “It's too late,” said some one to him all over. “ How all over? You don’t mean hey're divorced yet?” Te won't hurt you.” to say comicbooks.com