Judge — June 1, 1889 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A clergyman of this city was out on his pastoral rounds one day when an unregenerate child of the street, playing in a sand-heap, threw sand at the parson, ‘The next day two small children, a boy and a girl, pre- seated themselves at his oor.” He let thera la’ and the little man said: ‘' Please, Mr. Minister, this is my little sister that threw the dirt'on you, yes‘day, ‘an she's come to say she'll forgive you." And the parson was glad.— Boston Commonwealth, ‘The Goose Whose Heart was fired with Ambition de- cided to become an le, and She left the Farm Yard one Morning and Wandered off into the Hills as a Starter. She was presently Espied by an Eagle, who pounced down and Seized upon her as a prize, **" What means this Treatment ?” demanded the Goose. ‘1 came here to be one of you.” "As a Fowl at Home you were a success,” replied the Eagle, but as a Goose abroad you are n.'g., except, to furnish a dinner for some Bird with More Sense.” Moral—When a Me- chanic quits his job to become a Politician it is not the Politician who is Eaten.—Detroit Free Press, When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria, When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria, When she became Miss, sho clung to Castoria, When she had Children, she gave them Castoria Little Margherita, five years old, a little girl who often expressed her wonderments about the here and the here- after, said to her mother, the other day, after a long time’ spent in meditation, “I know what God does with our soul after we die; he makes another body and puts the soul into that. So all the dead peoples go into live peoples."—Boston Transcript. Sunday-school teacher (to new pupil) —"* We are taught by the bible that when some one smites us on one cheek we should turn the other to him. Isn't that a beautiful sentiment?” ‘Yes, ma'am." N enemy were to smite you on one cheek, what would you do?" “I'd pound der top of his head off."—Nebraska State Journal, Ladies never have any dyspepsia after a wine-glass of Angos- tura Bitters, the genuine of Dr. J. G. B. Siegert & Sons. Ask your druggist. WHAT WAS IT? Guess what he had in his pocket ? Marbles and tops and sundry toys Such as always belong to boys, A bitter apple, a leather ball — Not at all. What did he have in his pocket ? A bubble-pipe and a rusty screw, brassy wateh-key broken in tw fish-hook in a tangle of ‘string ?— fo such thing. What did he have in his pocket ? Ginger-bread crumbs, a whistle he made, Buttons, a knife with a broken blade, A nail or two and a rubber gun ?— ither one. What did he have in his pocket ? Before he knew, it slyly crept Under the treasures carefully kept And away they all of them quickly stole— "Twas a hole ! —Sidney Dayre, ~The Kodak. A WARNING. AUTHORIZED parties are advertising a Camera which they claim is similar to the Kodak, loaded with our film, (We are the only manufacturers of continuous films in the world.) We warn the public that the said Camera is entirely unsifitable for using our films and we decline to be responsible for any failures resulting from its use. TI IS ONLY ONE CAMERA that is sent out loaded with 100 Eastman's films, and that is the Kodak. The patents on the Kodak and film are all owned by us and infringers will be prosecuted. Send for Kodak Primer, free. THE EASTMAN DRY PLATE AND FILM CO. Rocnester, N. Brancu Orricr, 115 Osford St., London, | last fou! | old.—Z | colic and diarrhava. A MAN WHAT NO ONE KNOWS. Plain, sort o! slow-like an’ easy ; ver went much on style Had an air as ts called breezy An’ a sort o° interestin’ smile ‘Seemed to like children the most ‘An’ people didn’t have riches ; Never was much on the boast *Bout liftin’ poor folks out o' ditches. ‘And all the same, even if no newspapers didn’t tell the whole world ‘bout the doin's o” Jack ‘Trevers, he was a man to cotton to through thick and thin. He didn’t stop to count the cost, nor never give a cent's care whether or no he'd git out o' a perdicerment when some 1 cuss oF a weak child or gentlewoman was in the ole. Jack Trevers lost a big fortun’ in the east; sowed his wild oats an’ planted ‘em so deep he never got no re- turns from ‘em, Then he came out west to grow up with the blossomin’ country what poets sing ‘bout ‘an story-tellers spin yarns "bout. Jack sowed an’ planted his wild oats afore he was tweaty-five ; so you see he was a purty young feller, after all, when he came out here an’ begun to make perperashuns for redeemin’his- self, An’ he made them perperashuns with a vengeance, jist the same as he sowed them wild oats. ‘The fust night he landed in Shake Down he popped over a man fur bearin’ down too hard on a pore Chinay- man ; an’ ‘fore next sunrise he was down in a poor Dutchman's shanty nussing a boy who fetched nuthin’ with him from his fatherland but consumption. Stayed by the boy till he died, Jack did ; an‘ then laid the poor fellow out ina nice white ruffled shirt o' his own an’— yes, he did, Jack said some words over the boy’s grave, What sot us all a-thinkin’. Next thing he did was to chip in five dollars toward startin’ a little pale-faced gal in the candy, cigar, an’ newspaper bizness ; there wasn't ‘nuff to git her goin’ good, an’ Jack went an’ give one week's work in the Black Peter mine toward helpin’ the gal out ; an’ it dic We knowed Jack right well, all o' us; but the big world didn’t seem to pay much ‘tenshun ‘to him or his doin's, It'd take a big book to tell all o° that boy's. goodness; an’ what scemed queer an’ strange was the fack that he used-to be wild once, an’ didn’t like to have nobody thank him for what he did. Fin'lly, a pore little Mexican got took down with small-pox. Jack nussed him till he was well. Then Jack—he got sick an'—an'—darn me if there was a man in camp with sand ‘nuff to care for Jack ; but the little cigar gal, she went an’ tried to bring Jack ‘round ag'in, “They both lay down there under that hemlock. Jack wasn't knowed much in the big world at large ; but'say! CATARRH CURED. Act man, after years of suffering from that loathsome | sie Crain aed Zany “ing erry enown ney | scrips Whe eine corel ack ered tea Tne Gesu hay Saeed Tae i cecal ae aan addressed stamped envelope to Prof. J. A. Lawrence, 88 Warren | Street, New York City, will receive the recipe free of charge. Ardent suitor (to Kansas young woman)—"' Miss Gracie, may [ hope that "— "Miss Gracie (candidate for alderman)—" Mr. Chugwater, before proceeding any further will you please tell me’ how many votes you can control in the second ward ?"—Chicago Tribune, “Lady Car," by an author so well known, is by no means one of her minor works, either in plot or literary worth ; and it is individual in that it presents in a most forcible manner one phase of woman's life, which, though frequent in society, has been too long overlooked as un- important. ‘The secret suffering of woman over the wrongs done her by parents, husband, and children here are portrayed most vividly and touchingly. ‘The book should find many readers among the men, young and MU (Mass.) Times. Mas, Wixstow's Soormixe Svacr for Children Teethi soothes the child, softens the gums, allays ail pain, cures wi 9 cents.a bottle. ‘The remaining territories should not be admitted to the union until each can boast of at least six professional base-ball clubs. That's the test of civilization. — Utica Observer. Get the gun and load it well, Burnish up the chestnut bell ; Light the everlasting fires For the idiot who inquires, “Ts there rain enough for you?" —Nebraska State Journat, A little, bright girl in Springfield says that the "' gold- en rule" ‘is very strong, but "anything that anybody does, that is not what anybody would like to have done to them, cracks the great rule.""—Ioman's News. We'll soon to the beach be hying, Where the waves run to and fro, And the crab in wait is lying ‘To seize on the maiden’s toe ; Where we'll see the white gulls flying Out o'er the heaving rine, And the bathing-suits a-drying, Like sausages, On the line, Boston Courier, VISITORS TO EUROPE TIFFANY & CO., New York. Union Square, Suggest to visitors to the International Exposition that they will find one of the interesting attractions of Paris a visit to their estab- lishment, 36 bis AVENUE de L’OPERA Where can be seen probably the largest, most valuable and comprehensive collec- tion of Precious Stones and rich Jewelry for sale in Eu- rope. In addition to the advan- tage of so large a stock to select from, purchasers have the security of the full en- dorsement guarantees and ,Pprivileges given by the New York House. YOUMANS CELEBRATED HATS. Style and Quality Unequaled. 180—719—1107 Broadway. NONE NICER ¢ High Court ef Fustice.—Goroel +. Durrant. —On Jan. 28, Der desice Chitty ranted a Perpetual Injunction with cute restraining Mr Ocorre fieynoise Durrant from Infringing A ‘Soka Ooaaell & Go. Megulered Trede Mart CHERRY BLOSSOM. comicbooks.com