Judge, 1889-05-11 · page 6 of 16
Judge — May 11, 1889 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains several satirical vignettes typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"A Wakeful Guardian"** mocks racial dialect humor common to the era, depicting two Black men discussing a poorly-fed watchdog—the joke being the dog's condition makes it useless as a guard. **"The Old Man Was Fly"** plays on a pun: a young man receives a love letter ("billet-doux"), and his father asks how much money ("doux") was enclosed, misunderstanding the term. **"An Astronomical Observation"** presents a child's innocent confusion about celestial mechanics—how the sun "hatches" a new moon nightly. **"The Outcome of the Suit"** depicts two men after a legal battle; one suffered injuries but won "heavy damages" (compensation), a commentary on litigation outcomes. The page also includes philosophical musings on dreams, ambition, and effort—typical *Judge* editorial content. The scattered jokes target linguistic confusion, racial stereotypes, and legal system absurdities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SENTENCES PASSED BY THE = 7 ZED JUDGE. g \ GROCERIES g Cigars. B y VERY legitimate day-dream will have a re- i ie Z Yi = Y sultant act to show for it. 5 Me Every air-castle ever built has its founda- Ba : ‘ UY, tions secure in the future. * Wisdom consists principally in knowing what a vast deal one must learn truly to be called wise. Were the fool to realize the depth of his folly he would straightway be exalted among the sages. ness is no accident, First there must be the seed, «must be added the labor of cultivation, ns and work are twin stars, not to be divided unless you would see the one vanish in vapor and the other resolve itself into a degraded form of labor. ‘To dream successfully every dream must be an incen- tive to more strenuous effort, Dreams never yet blew a soul into port, but without them what hand would be raised to grasp the oar ? GENDER OF THE PHONOGRAPH, HE. T"y Hanon beep a confidence, iat ets th And yet it never seems to know A WAKEFUL GUARDIAN. ‘What all ite talk’s about, up it talks and talks you think my arguments Jouxsox—"* Dat's a mighty pore dawg ob yours, Yallerby. He's bones mos' stick out ime and reason lack, frough he's s Vatteruy—" Huh! Dat's jes’ whad meks him a good watch-dawg. He kain’t lie & to EAMTERY. down wivout hurtin’ ob hisself. THE OLD MAN WAS FLY. “ Absolom, my son, what was that note the messenger just brought you?” inquired old man Hardtagne. * Nothing in particular, father, only a billet-doux from a friend.” “Indeed ?- How much did he say there was doux ?” AN ASTRONOMICAL OBSERVATION. Dotkins—" Mamma, when the sun sets how can she hatch a new moon so quick every night ?" FINANCIAL STRATEGY. Mr. Coites—"'S' help me gracious, Rebecca! vas I neffer learnt you noddings? Vy you not look at dose big pictures and git de most for your moneys?" HOW HE WON HER. He—" \ love you as the bee the blossom, and if you will but consent to be mine own our married life shall be one long bliss in clover.” She (who has, been listening rather absent-mindedly up to the last word)—" Oh, can you get ‘em all in? Show me how and T'll say yes.” _ THE OUTCOME OF THE SUIT. REFORM. ‘ There isn’t much left of you, my friend.” aM y* Don't try this fuy word to amend. zi als he Other der Soctety be an asa. my trices That will kick the tan in the dirty road I met him after the session, though, and secured Who attempts to ease it of its load. heavy damages.” comicbooks.com