Judge — May 11, 1889 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

'HE BEST THING about centennials—That they come once in a hundred years. see THE PEOPLE of Oklahoma have learned that it’s a good idea to learn where you're going before you get there. eae HERE WAS never so much anxiety to get anywhere as into Oklahoma, with the sole ex- ception of the anxiety to get out of it. SCH FOR one more day of Mrs, Cleveland !" ex- claims the editor of the Chicago Times, One day? A thousand, a million, a billion, my son. see BOULANGER has with him in England followers enough to serve a king; but they would have served him best if they had dropped him in the channel on the way over. eee HE THIRTEEN MILES of procession were intended to celebrate the original colonies, and the accidents represented that number at table, or rather on the grand stands. HE RED ANT of the white- house is a hold-over from the last administration, but we must say that Mrs. Cleveland would have removed him if she had had that power. suggest a becoming way ?” “bankrupt twist’ ? SOME PAPERS speak of the president’s haste in appointing a suc- cessor to Pearson. Has it occurred to them that the appointment had to be made before the close of the lamented man’s term of office ? RY WATTERSON accuses the president of hypocrisy. That was done in the case of the man who deliberately shot off the gun: but there was this immediate correction—"1 don't mean that. was a typographical error. I mean precipitation,” SPEAKING OF CATS. Coretta —" I'm undecided as to how to wear my hair. KG) KEEP YOUR EYES wide open, D.B, Hill, There is a man on your trail who thinks he knows every nail in the heels of your boots. LUCY PARSONS, anarchist, says, “Every man who has not t behind his ballot "A truce to this non- sense, Lucy. Ballots were not made to serve as wadding for guns, eee THE PEOPLE on the Dan- mark have learned how sweet it is to live, and it is a significant fact that during their long agony there was not an at- tempt at suicide and there was one birth. E, F- JONES was appointed * boss of the senate by D. B, Hill, but the senate wouldn't confirm, Now W. C. Whitney has been packed and shipped for the governorship, and Jones he pays the fre THE WILD WEST. Barkecper—\s it true you lynched that tenderfoot 2" “Horse stealing?” Cowboy—No; he wore a plug Can you ° hat.” CoRDELIA—" Why not originate a new roll for it, and call it the It'S certainly short enough." NO CHANGE, Mrs, Bobley—\ see, Job that there is a strong movement towards the abolition of the high hat.” Mr. Bobley (with recollections of a certain bill)—" Yes; but bon- nets are just as high as ever.” THEY MADE NOTHING USEFUL Wiggins (reflectively)—" Lord MacEnoch? Lord MacEnoch? 1 don't remember anyone of that name in the British nobility. Who was the founder of his family ?” Baboony (haughtily)—" My fwiend's family, sir, includes no founders, nor any other kind of manufacturwers.” THE LAWS OF ELASTICITY. Orricer Grocan—"* Wait'll yez see me knock th’ soles aff him !* Raspy Mike, THE TRAMP (as the club flies over the city hall)—""Dem shoes __is made of car-spring rubber, Mr. Cop.” comicbooks.com