Judge — April 20, 1889 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

20 HUM OF THE COURT. [71S NOT always the actress who has nervous prostration — it is frequently the manager. ILL THE MAN who writes, “The reason is because.” Or rather don’t that would depopulate the journalistic world, HANNAH MooRE was never kissed in her life; so that doubtless she was hap- pier when, having died, she was no Moore, E KNOW OF nobody better adapted to the duties at Vienna than Colonel Fred Grant; and per- haps he may fill the bill if there happen to be any. THAT IS good wit in the Utica Observer which says that, ac cording to the McAl- listers, our George was the father of only hundred of hi trymen, Solomon WAS a great and good man; but it seems hard at this period to send a man to state-prison merely because he has more than one wife. SeTHERE 1S NO one in this world.” says the Somerville Journal, “who is wholly without faults.” With one exception, sir—h'm! with one exception, THE TROUBLE that took Mary Anderson to Europe was home-sick- ness, or in other words sickness of home ; but, wherever she goes, may the dear girl keep her head level and her heart light, and finally come back and get naturalized. A LADY wills,” Brotuer Tow—" Why nothing but a frippish dud Miss CURLINGH promised to marry him.’ es that with a cigarette in her mouth she flies “where fancy It is remarkable what things the cigarette can do, A num- ber of persons have been so transported by it that they have returned merely as the clay for their own funerals. THERE IS DOUBT of the story that David Moffatt, bank president of Denver, was made to disgorge $21,000 at the muzzle of a pistol and really, speaking for one, we know that a man might point his fire- arms at us many years without getting half the money. THE BITTER END OF IT. do you let that little cad pay you so much attention ? Heavens, Tom, I thought you said British duke! and I've about half MUST admit that there are a few words in my matter which, living, I would wish to blot; but the senate is just as guilty of the heat of debate as lam. -M. Halstead, IF OUR GEORGE had known of the fight over his memory a hundred years after his inauguration we feel convinced that he would have taken a thousand oaths besides the one of office. R, PAT EGAN will do no harm to the commerce and sentiment of England as our representative at Chili; but he will search around indus- triously for an oppor- tunity for the same, M*- HOWELL says he makes a fresh study of his wife for every one of his heroines; so that that charming wedding journey runs from the altar to the sepulchre, asall wedding journeys should. HE HON. W. NYE says he is a self-made man who didn’t have a sufficiency of hair to finish up the job. In other words, we suppose, he is metaphorically a brick without the cohesive straw. ‘THE CAN never be a woman's club which will be profitable. It takes idle men to do small talk and mean gossip, and they have the faculty also, which woman hasn‘t, of liberally patronizing the bar. I told you he was ++ BAB.” a lady writer, says she abominates the woman with a capital W. There is a great deal in that. Every man would write it with the capital, but the smaller the woman writes it the greater woman she is. HEN BISMARCK heard of the rejection of Halstead he said, bear- ing in mind the ferocity of that man, that he felt the way was tinally open to him to capture all the Pacific islands and all the United States with the sole exception of Cincinnati, O. [TIS SAD to think that, as the IVordd says, the law costs the taxpayers of New York a thous: but we must reflect that there are still a few lawyers who are not millionaires, peradventure who do not hold office, and that. after all, the general public does not approach the bench on its knees and deliver up its information like a penitent at the confessional. HOME DEFENSE. Doc-catcuer (in the subturds)—'* Reach down a little deeper, Jake. 1 seen him run in plain’s day.” Mr. Mvarrincr—"' P'raps it ain't a good plan ter keep a tame polar cat when you're raisin’ pups” comicbooks.com