Judge — April 6, 1889 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

APRIL FOOL. D ANDY, JANE! where did you git ‘That awful smut upon your nose? Jimmy Jones, you've tored a hole In that bran’ new suit o° close! ‘Ann Elizy, there’s your beau Comin’ here, I do declare, An’ he'll never come agin « If he sees that head o° hair.” So Jane, with harsh endeavor, Rubs her spotless nose’s end; ‘And Jimmy Jones, to see the hole, Doth twist and turn and bend; While Ann Eliza flies up-stairs As fast as she can run— “Aperl fool!” cries little Joe. My, what fant Not a thing in all the house All day long is tit to eats Salt is in the sugar-bowl, ‘Sugar sprinkled on the meat. Ma, a han’sum lady's called, Wants to speak alone to pa.” “Pa, the preacher's in the parlor ‘An’ he heard you scoldin’ ma.” Letters come with nothing in; Door-bell fingles—no one’s there! And before you take a seat You had better test the chai. Hither, thither, helterskelter, Flushed and wrathful, rush and run— “Aperl fool!" eries little Joe. My, what fun! S183, GHORGH ARCHIBALD, SHE WAS WELL-BRED. “Ah, Miss Garlay, the walk up Mount Blane was exquisite; we walked nearly to the top. You should have climbed the moun- tain when you were abroad,” “Perhaps so,” she replied, with chilling hauteur," but papa had a carriage to take us wherever we wanted to go—we never walked.” HAD BEEN THERE. Brown was at the theatre the other evening, when a man on y out trod on his corns. Brown remonstrated. “ Hush up, you old fool,” wasalll he received in the way of apology. “ Tt strikes me that expression is scarcely parliamenta Brown with great dignity. “ Excuse me, but that A stuck-up man may be said to belong to the mucil-age. "remarked A MILD HINT. exactly what it is. I've lived in Washington.” NO CHANGE OF HABIT. cco butler, whom she has tiony—"* Why, Fitzpatrick, V'm surprised!” Firzparrick—" Yex naden't be, ma'am, Th’ clock’s jist after shtrikin’ twilve an’ Oi'm tekin’ me noonin’, ged without a recommenda- Ethel (as the old gentleman enters)—" Well, papa, what is it?” Old Scroggs—" Here's an umbrella I've brought for George. It looks as if it would rain before mornin, BLIGHTED POMPOSITY. Mr. Tinptey (to Ais guests)—"' Now, my friends, I'm going to give you Juke of Worcestershire sent mea golden pheasant from his in Dorset, and I want you to share it with me. Pawks, remove the asurprise. The di presery cover!” Mx. TIDLEY'S SON (/rom Ais ambush)—" Ginger! ain't I happy? An’ Fido ain’t bashful a bit.” comicbooks.com