Judge — March 23, 1889 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MEN WE HAVE MET. AMOR SMITH, MAVOR OF CINCINNATI, OHIO, HAT charmingly lardy suburb of Covington, Cincinnati, Ohio, took to itself a Re- publican mayor in 1885 and has hung on to him like a hook toa pig's leg ever since. His name is Smith, and he comes from a line of ancestors who were too busy and had too many other things to think of to lead them to spell it * Smythe” or “Smeet™ or “DeSmit.”| Mr. Smith, whose father was a tallow-rende \ Ohio, and moved to Cincinnati in the salon of a Miami and Erie canal-boat when a small boy. He often regrets that the old gentleman did not start in another direction, but his interests are so wentitied with Cincinnati that it is now too late to get aw He went to school there until he was twenty-one, and then was admitted to his fa firm, grew a mustache, and was elected member of the county executive board, and also an alderman, all at one swoop. These honors were followed in quick succession by his appointment as internal revenue collector for the southern district of Ohio, and after gathering in everything that was lying around loose he accepted the nomination for the mayoralty and was elected as stripping sausage-skins, While occupying his present position as chief magistrate over a number of thousands of citizens, and a floating population of several million hogs a year, he has successively and successfully presided at the water-board councils, settled questions involving the ownership of stray strong Sherman m noticing at the hotel th chief let the pork ch WAN Tee S bacon go by and bre a = on buckwheat cakes, he bat z - slid and came out flatly for H: rison, Mr. Smith, as his given name might indicate when looked at from a standpoint @ de Francais, is a man of family, and has been married twice. He is very fond of referring to his twelve feet of boy on the hoof, having two sons cach of whom is over six feet in height; and he also is blessed with a charmin nd accomplished daughter, who does much to keep him in check when the Lincoln club billiard matches get too fast and furious, Handsome in face and figure, affable in manner, and a first-class business-man, Mr, Smith has the sincere regard of his towns- men, and may be depended on never to allow a rancid ham or a defaulting spare-rib to leave his city for the east. Here's grunting at you, Mayor Smith ! AT THE VICTORIA. Cashier (to waiter) —" What was the matter with that large, heavy gent that just left she table there? He said you insulted him.” Watter—* 1 merely asked him if he wanted some soup.” NO OFFENSE INTENDED. De Cancau—"\ have to mention a very unpleasant matter, Miss Humane. I heard you called me a brute when you saw me whipping my horses the other da: Miss Humane—" T must ¢ be mistake.” De Cancau—" Then you didn’t say it ? Miss Humane— No, indeed, 1 think too much of the brute creation to do it such an injustice.”" WORDS AT A HARVARD ASSEMBLY. Mk. D. Dunn (of Fort Plain\—" 1 beg of you to say ‘yes,’ May. If Atchison goes up I shall be worth a cool hun- dred thousand,” Miss Bracon—"* You'll pardon me for being discouraging, but from papa’s florid comment I'm afraid it as gone up en: tirely.” THE DIFFERENCE. OW many days I listen patiently As from thy grand piano thou dost wring Those o'er-familiar tunes which e’er unstring My tender nerves: is there no melody Beyond those worn-out airs—no harmony To which at times my tortured soul may cling? Are there not more enchanting strains to sing Than those which thou for weeks hast sung to me? The notes of Orpheus in tunes of old Had pow'r th’ inanimate from death to take, ‘Or rouse th’ unconscious from their slumbers deep: But thou, Annette, art of a different mold When thou beginnest Iam wide awake, And when thou endest Tam fast asicep! “WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK.” Levi Grab (of Baxter street)—* Mein frendt, 1 haf de most elegant assordment of ofercoats in der city. Coom right in! HE FOUND OUT. The stranger—" What are yer givin’ us, cully? 1 MAN-WwiTH-nan-couci—"" Me find heap good peek-hole. Soon tell if white man in keeps der mistit clothin® parlors on Secondand street cabin, Waugh! meself !” comicbooks.com