Judge — March 23, 1889 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN ACCIDENT AT THE FEAST. Count Von HemMenuieimer (af the fegation dinncr)—* Oxcuse me, chendleme nein fingers der pone shlibbed ohf !" WHERE THEY SURPASS US. THE WISDOM OF YEARS. Madame Bovine—" Xow contess, professor, your American Voung Sneerleigh—" VU V's as homely as you I'd cut my throat.” misses are not equal to our English girls in point of —of Old Sharpeley—" Mt you'd been as homely as Las long as I you'd have -ssur (supplying)—* Weight. Yes'm, in point of weight. Also brains enough to not spoil the edge of a good razor that wa in point of muscle. If there is anything for which the h girl is re- Kable, it is her muscle.” WHAT SHE ASKED FOR. But he spoke to thin air. Mrs, O'Flaherty —* Have yez any tin quart pails, Misther Doogan ? AT THE DIME MUSEUM. Mr. Deg <o, Mrs. herty, but Oi have plinty av tin wan * No dogs allowed in here!” said the door-keeper to the man with a null-terrier, “We've got a livin’ skeleton at this musee, an’ der public safety demands dat purps shouldn't recognize a bone in dat shape!” Urs. O' Flaherty—" AW that’s what Oi axed yez for, Misther Doogan.” THE CHOIR. VIEWED BY THE CONGREGATION: ITTLE white-robed cherubim! Little white-robed cherubim! Sweetly surge the tender vowes Pure the vision, and uplifting, In the soulsinspiring hye! And the gazing eye grows dim And the listing ear 1 As the golden sunhigit, shifting Softly swell the silv'ry throats, To the faces rapt and sweet In exalted measure blending, Strangely sentient in its Hitting. ‘And the strain divinely tloa Pulsing clear, and high Casts a glory well betitting! AND OV EARD BY THE ORGANIST: * Bet you can't guess what I jot! “Tsmell pep'mint; who's got any?” 7 shan’t come to your old p * Gracious, ain’t her hair red-hot!” ‘ow look here, git off my feet * You hold on, I dropped ti Pooh! you dassent do it, smart imme ‘nother gumdrop." **S © Say, you quit now, that ain't fai ce this jack-knife? Want to swap her?” ‘ake that nail out 0” my col See the dog-fight yesterday ? “Who's the feller yanked my hair" Bill Smith's puppy licked a whopper.” Pinch me once more and I'll holler!” A CHICAGOAN SLUR. COYVHIAT in the world is the matter?" asked Miss Wiffletree as she and Mollinew walked into the drawing-room. ‘othing but a sudden faintness, I assure you,” he replied. “Isn't that Mrs. Mollinew over there in the corner 2” Miss Wifletree glanced across the i : ; . room and said, “ Of course it is; but what Miss WeNNINcen a dummy, . »> bund avon lav Miss HINDEKAPER- i: 's an awfully life-like one.” do you care understand you have got Mk. Dr Toxcey—" Ker-whish-ew! [beg pardon, ladies, but Lwas just a divore yetting ready to sneeze as you came along. : “So [ have," he gasped out; “but I it on the ground of incompatibility of ON TIME. temper, and I'm afraid she'll sue me for HE joyous robin trills its matin song. ‘A brighter tint doth deck each bush and tree, On what grounds?" and the sweet | And from the winter's blank sterility girl looked astonished. Come pretty flowers the country paths to throng. peut ss The wayside brook moves noiselessly along, Straight evidence,” was the desper- And all the spirit feels a touch of glee, ate reply.“ As nobody would ever come A sense of most unwonted buoyancy, to this house for anything but the supper, A thrill of utmost rapture, deep and strong a he ead hace Se ee ec ae ee, we are showing to the world that we agree And though the lines above are imager with each other by both being here. The vernal days too son imagining, Miss Wiffletrce excused herself and Vet where a thousand poets roam at large : a sane ese eet reels Goes ae & began a hunt for a sane escort to take her Among the first who sing the joys of spring, x... “home. comicbooks.com