Judge, 1889-02-23 · page 3 of 18
Judge — February 23, 1889 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"Trouble at Our Tableaux"** (top): A theatrical scene interrupted by a creditor demanding payment. The satire targets vote-buying corruption in politics, using the Monte Cristo drama as backdrop. The editorial text condemns the practice of purchasing political office—comparing it to disease in the body politic—and criticizes how public opinion treats vote-selling as sin rather than crime, making laws unenforceable. **"He Always Retorted Well"** (middle): Anecdotes about George Washington and William O'Brien's marital disputes. These are lighthearted character sketches, with Washington defending his profanity to Martha and O'Brien struggling to keep his composure. **"A Disaster at the Dog-Play"** (bottom): A theatrical melodrama where a villain orders a dog to attack an actor, but the trained dog refuses because the orchestra musician (Swinklemeyer) is eating a sandwich—the dog's dinner—during the performance. This absurdist humor mocks overwrought theatrical productions. The page primarily satirizes political corruption and theatrical pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TROUBLE AT OUR TABLEAUX. Door-tenver (breakin, into the assemblage just as the curtain is going to rise on™ count of Monte Cristo don't pay him his last week's grocery bill he'll have the law on him “pes of all Countries")—“* There's a man at the door who says that if the This method, which is the inevitable outcome of the vote-purchasing evil, assures success only to the ambitious Crassus, or perhaps to the cor- Tuptionist, who, footing his cost of political place, purposes by some means to get it back, ‘The rottenness at the polling place is a virus that culmi- nates in a legislative lobby. ‘The representative who has been indirectly forced to purchase his seat is less likely to resist reimbursement. ‘The penal enactments standing on the statute books against vote-buying and vote-selling are almost wholly ignored. Public opinion appraises both as a sin, neither as a crime. ‘The law, useless and unenforced, as a dispro- portionate punishment is suffocated by contempt, and falls dead. It is only when simple deprivation of voting can be made to follow the sale of the ballot that there will be an enforcement of public interest, which is but the unglossed name for reform. In Constantinople the muezzin whe calls from the lofty minaret the hour of prayer, so that he may is purposely s solicitations from politi the crime in the streets. a GEORGE FINALLY ran against so many birthdays that they knocked him out, It is easy to get too much of a good thing not see what is enacting on the housetops Our ascetic devotees still chant their cd are equally as blind to the dirt and HE ALWAYS RETORTED WELL. HEY SAY that George Washington swore strictly in private. That was to his credit, though when he did swear he went the business at a rattling gait. Once his wife heard him through the bricks of the great chimney at Mount Vernon, and she called out to him, “ George, George ! Please leave the shingles on the roof. dame !" he screamed, “ you cannot dodge the responsibility in that way. Where, let me again ask, are the buttons of my shirt?” And Martha never interfered with his profanatory exerc WILLIAM O'BRIEN has been extremely unfortunate, With all his effort to that end he hasn't been able to keep his shirt on, be a bustle; but the more refined article will husband— it will never be blown up. ae ae NEARLY ALL the papers are pushing Colonel Fred Grant for minister to China, May we ask if there are not thousands of young men in this great country who are entitled to this office? or has it come to pass that one must be the son of an ex-president to hold a good, fat place ? or is it the fault of the son? THERE WILL alw resemble its wearer's A DISASTER AT THE DOG-PLAY. HEAVY VILLAIN—"* Seel good Bruno, and when thou hast found him, tear-r-r him limb from lim But Swinklemeyer of the orchestra was eating a sandwich in the front row, and Hruno had had no dinner.