Judge — February 2, 1889 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MEN WE HAVE MET. EDWIN H. FITLER, MAYOR OF PHILADELPHIA, EDWIN H. FITLER is mayor of Philadelphia, and he is ex- ceedingly pleased with the job, There is one kind of job involved in being mayor of New York-and another in being mayor of Phila~ delphia, and Mr, Fitler realizes the difference with a great double- leaded realization that makes him feel happy most of the time. There is something nihilistic in that * most” though ; for while the Phila- delphia police exist as a body his bliss will be leavened with the sneaking thought that the protec- tors of the peace don’t like him on general principles, neither does Mayor Fitler like the police; so that things are pretty near comfortable after all, One of the Chestnut street squad neglected to touch hi3>p to his honor the other day and the mayor got even by refraining from doing the same act of courtesy to the policeman, Had not the latter gyrated his fingers at the magistrate as he turned his back the police force would have had a grudge to wipe out. As it is they have only Mr. Stokley, one of Mayor Fitler’s cabinet officers, to perform this function on, and Mr, Stokley looks as if he knew what was coming and was eternally trying to dodge the inevit- able wipe-out which is sure to come eventually Mayor Fitler by occupation is a rope-maker, and here again the radical difference crops up between his training and that of the chief magistrate of the empire city. Mr. Fitler makes ropes and Mr. Grant pudls them, but as our screed on Mr. Grant is to come later we'll saw off on comparisons and stick to Mayor Fitler, That's what the Philadelphians do, by the way. They run the horse-cars in trains there whenever he goes down town, so anxious are the best citizens to be seen in his company. Mayor Fitler is sixty- three years old, and as far as is physically possible a self-made man, To a reporter who once i terviewed him on “su life,” the millionaire rope-spinner said, “I never wore a dress-suit until | was worth $100,000; and I never gave Mrs. Fitler ad mond until I was worth a qua ter of a million.” This exp! why the mayor of to-day always tries to pull his spike-tails over the front of his vest when he sits down, and why the mayoress never retires without Kohinoors on her thumbs, This of course is badinage, and it’s a blamed sight worse in youth, so we'll stop, with the assurance to Mayor Fitler of our most pro- found regard, HER. Oh! the history, and the mystery, Of that naughty little " Hee"! Often sinning, always winning, With a laugh each day beginning, Setting all our hearts astir. Wild and wilful, sweet and skilful, “Her” believes in nature's art : Losing mitten, teasing kitten, Doing more than can be written, Basy from the very start. Dancing sunlight seems such fun bright To the precious little elf; If you task her, of should ask her Name, the merry little masker Answers, “/ler is just Herself” Pear evTivce strike a girl?” Towmy—'* Is papa a coward 2” The oldest schemes trap the BLOW FOR BLOW. Maanta—" Tommy, don’t you know that it's very cowardly for a boy to MamMa—‘* What an idea! Of course he isn't.” IT MADE HIM THIRSTY. Uscie PeLec—"* Wa-al, I swow! ‘This must be an all-fired thirsty taown, Guess I'll go in an’ git a dipper o' cider out o' that pool.” SKATING. glided along with such intinite grace That the dudes were intent on each angle; But in cutting a dido she slipped off her base And twisted herself in a tangle. They were sure that the fair one had fractured her spine, For she screamed in a way that was shocking ; At wasn’t the reason that made her repine She had thought of the darn in her stocking. Be careful when you are out skating. It’s a bad time to get ina hole. If you must fall, do it grace- fully. The bad skater blames his skates, ‘The bandy now in his glory ged man is There is many a slip ‘twist the man and thi The novice in the ulster keeps the ice swept clean, You can find many a small boy on the ice these days before school is out. Even as the moth and the candle, so is the fool and the “danger” sign, : Perhaps the bustle should go, but in these days it lets many a girl down easy. There is no hope for you if your girl says she can put her skates on herself. One's fingers are apt to be numb when he is putting on a pretty girl's skates, You always fall when your girl is looking and you are trying to do your prettiest. ‘The small boy's skates may be of wood, ‘And the straps beyond reclaim ; Bar tet it well be understood, He gets there just the same The perseverance of the novice is to be commended. He does his best to break most victims. Towmy—" heard him tell that Mr. Rounds, who was here yesterday, that he Ww was going to strike you for enough for the theatre tickets to-night.” JAY O'CONNELL, comicbooks.com