Judge — February 2, 1889 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ee JUDGE 275 * What is the secret of your success ?” asked the poet. “That's just it,” replied the busy merchant; ** there is no secret about it; I'm the biggest advertiser in the state. ‘There's nothing secret about my business.” And the poct made a note of it. But the very next man to whom he spoke about it happened to be his friend, the burglar, who scoffed at the idea.‘ Why," he said, "* secrecy is the very soul of success in my business. Never adver- tise, whatever you do,"" And the poor poet went out and bought a three-months’ commutation ticket for the lunatic asylum.—Burdette, in the Brooklyn Eagle, When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria. When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria. When sho became Miss, she clung to Castoria. When she bad Children, she gave them Castoria. A correspondent says that Queen Victoria is a very hard worker. |“ After breakfasting she spends the morning dictating letters to her secretary, and does not dine until g p.m." This great press of business may explain why her messages to parliament are so short ; and also why she doesn’t write them herself. down Herald. “ These books, docto:, ar ay best friends, And with thes: :or how:s [ commune; The spirits ef sive authors come ‘To loiter in the dim old room! A smile the doctor's thin lips stirred, As one by one the books he shut; * Tnotice, Mrs. Gray,” he said, “That many volumes are uncut.”* She looked at him with that sly glance Which such a charm to beauty lends, And, with a little laugh, she said, “Ab, sir, I never cut my friend: —Daetrit Free Press, ‘The rolling-pin and the flat-iron as implements of warfare will soon go to meet the arquebuse and cata- pult. The girls in the university of Minneapolis, it is said, are to be drilled in regular soldier fashion and carry real guns.—/atchct, Angostura Bitters, endorsed by physicians and chem- ists for purity and wholesomeness. Dr. J. G. B. & Sons, sole manufacturers, Ask your druggist. AMBITION. How long ago it is since hope was mine; How long ago since first it seemed tome As if, at most, a few short years would see ‘The full accomplishment of my design. Alas, “twas ere that loveliest of the nine Fair, fickle daughters of Mnemosyne Had made a mock of my simplicity, And cast me off, and left me to repine. In those old times I dreamt my song must sway ‘The nations—now, my life would not seem vain If later (shaving, as I was to-day) Some lathered lover of old rhyme should deign To read my torn leaf twice ere cast away, And with his razor dall forget the pain. —Louis Belrose, jr., in The Open Court, “DANDRUFF should never be neglected, be- cause its natural end is in BALDNESS.” “The persistence of ITCHING is peace-de- stroying and exhausting tothe powers.” SCRATCHING is not nice, nor half as satisfying asa SHAMPOO with PACKER’S TAR SOAP which allays Itching, cures Dandruff and Skin Diseases, pre- t's Baldness and leaves the skin delightfully smooth, soft, eastic and healthful. Removes odors from perspiration, Scents, Druggists, or VHE PACKER MEG. CO., 100 Falton St., NewYork. ‘Sample, four stamps, if Junce is mentione: WASHINGTON SEC. Great Vintage 1884. J. ROUSSILLON & (CO., BPERNAY, FRANCE. Known as the Purest and Driest Champagne in the United States by all lovers of good wine. GOOD-BYE ER HOWDY-DO. Say good-bye er howdy-do— What's the odds betwixt the two?— Comin'—goin’—every day— Best friends first to go away— Grasp of hands you druther hold Than their weight in solid gold, Slips their grip while greeting you— Say good-bye er howdy-do. Howdy-do, and then good-bye— Mixes just like laugh and ery; Deaths and births, and worst and best, Tangled their contrariest; Every jinglin’ weddin’ bell Skeerin’ up some funeral knell— Here's my song and there's your sigh; Howdy-do, and then good-bye. Say good-bye er howdy-do— Jest the same to me and you; ‘Tain’t worth while to make no fuss “Cause the job's put up on us; Someone's running this concern ‘That's got nothin” else to learn— If he's willin’ we'll pull through, Say good-bye er howdy-do! —James Whitcomb Rile “*T shall be dead at just four o'clock the afternoon of July 7, 1888," predicted a young man last January, on ihe strength of a dream he had. July 2 he married a red-headed widow with two children, and July 7, just at four o'clock, he was—not dead, but’ he wished. he was. —Drake's Magazine, ‘The Star says, ‘It is about time for theatrical ward- robe advertising’ to stop.” It would seem so, It has reached about the consistency of the bargain-counter, and now runs mainly to great sacrifices in underwear.— Albany Times, A contemporary heads an item ‘Iron. Works Under the Hammer.” We would very much like to see iron work either under the hammer or out from under the hammer. Iron never works when it can help it.— Rochester Post-Express. A FATAL ERROR. He was a very courteous man, With manners perfect quite, No one was ever more urbane, Or could be more polite. ‘To hear him murmur ‘Thank you, sir! Was really quite a treat; To see him bow, with inborn grace, Was happiness complete. Bat, though a man be most polite, ‘Some time he's sure to slip From grace, and once a cruel fate Made even this one trip. For one day a sweet girl said ** Yes,” (How strange are Cupid's pranks!) And then he lost her, once for all, Because he murmured "* Thanks! Louisville Journal, THE HOOSIERS AND THE JUDGE. Fort Harrison chun, Terre Haute, IND., Jan, 10, 1889. § The Republican members of the Fort Harrison club on the Wabash desire to render thanks to the Judge wablishing company for its able efforts in electing our Joosier candidate to the presidency, and we have the abiding hope that said administration may be such as still to merit and receive the JunGe’s cordial co-operation. Very truly, Dz. 3. DONALDSON. A Massachusetts man who has disappeared lefta letter explaining that he had a plan for committing suicide by Perhaps the most potential letter of the alphabet is “+n,” because it can make a man of ma,—Binghamton Republican. “THE KODAK. ANYBODY can use the Kova. ‘The operation of mak- ing a picture consists simply of pressing a button. One Hun- dred instantaneous pictures are made without re-loading. No dark room or chemicals neces- sary. A division of labor is offered, whereby all the work of finishing the pictures is done at the factory, where the camera can be sent to be re-loaded. ‘The operator need not learn anything about photography, He can "press the button’ —we do the rest. Send for copy of Konak Primer, with sample photo- graph. THE EASTMAN DRY PLATE AND FILM CO., Rochester, N. Y. PRICE $25.00, __ THE CELEBRATED Are at preseft so ag vo onic by Leading Artiste Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St, N.Y. SOHMER & CO., Prrrangcria, Pa., ut Chestnut Street; Curcrco, 1 State Stree; Sai Fiancrsco, Cat Union Club ALTIMORR, MD.. 7 SEALSKIN. All the newest shapes in Sealskin Garments. ‘The styles, quality, and prices cannot be beaten by any house in the Fur Trade. HENRY SIEDE, The 14th St. Furrier, 14 West 14th Street, New York. Between sth and 6th Avenues. ESTABLISHED OVER 38 YEARS. ‘D FOR CATALOGUE. 2x6 which he would fasten dynamite around his body, row out on the ocean, and touch himself off with a fuse. ‘This is ‘way ahead of Casabianca, whose ** fragments strewed the sea” in the line of duty, But it beats the coroner out of a job and thus works injustice to a worthy industry.— Buffalo * You shouldn't kiss your pug,” “The habit much disgust begets. e's this much to be said,” quoth she, “The pug ne'er smokes vile cigarettes.” —Merchant Traveller. If there is anything which will make a young man query whether evolution is not a failure, it is to see a E, PFEIFFER, General Manager, 169 Greenwich St., N.¥. pretty girl kiss a pug dog.—Burlington Free Press, NONE NIGER fa the Rgh Court of 9ustlce—Goueit« orrant —On Jen. 24, Het PEL caiy pn feretel lance ents reaieine Me Foun dosaed & Go's Mepikered Trade Mark CH LICR’