Judge — January 19, 1889 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

244 JUDGE A new broom sweeps clean, but it doesn’t sweep half as clean as a new hired girl with an old broom.—Bur- lington Free Press, MUSCULIR RREOMATISM. Henry O. Archibald, Lyndhurst, Bergen Co., N. J., writes: “T have been a martyr to rheumatism, which affects me in the back and over each lung. I was afraid that I had consump- tion, but upon examination my lungs were found to be sound. I then ascertained that I was suffering with muscular rheumatism, which was so bad at night that I could not sleep. I used an ALLcock’s PLASTER on the small of my back and one under each shoulder blade. I renewed them every five days, and in a month I was entirely well.” Beware of imitations, and do not be deceived by misrepresentation. Ask for ALLCOCK’S, and let no explanation or solicitation induce you to accept a substitute. Kasily Writes 35 Words « Minute, WORLD TYPEWRITERS. Thoroughly Made , Practical, Rapid, Business. Bingle Case, $10.00; Double Case, writes 72 charac- ters, $15.00. ‘Walnut Case, $2.00 extra, CATALOCUES FREE. ACENTS WANTED. 79 Franklin St, The finest Meat-Flavoring Stock. USE IT FOR SOUPS. Beef Tea, Sauces and Made Dishes So — EXTRACT OF MEAT. M. B.—Benuine only with fac-simile of Baron Uebig’s sigutira a BLUE INK across label. Sold by Storekeepers, Grocers and Druggists. LIEBIG'S EXTRACT OF MEAT CO., L’td, London, WASHINGTON SEC. Great Vintage 1884. 4. ROUSSILLON & (CO., BPERNAY, FRANCE, Known as the Purest and Driest Champagne in the United States by all lovers of ine. PFEIFFER, General Manager, 169 Greenwich St., N.Y KNOX’ WORED-RENOWNED FATS. ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. Retail stores, 212 Broadway. corner Fulton st.; 194 5th ave. anter Fifth Avenne Hotel: 40 Fulton xt., Brooklyn, and 191 £ 108 State st., Chicago. Agents for the sale of these high clas Hats can he found in every city In the United States. “Did that lady buy anything 2" asked the jeweler of his new boy, as the lady in question left the store, ap- parently in a temper. "She did not. She asked me for an old gold breastpin, and I asked her if she took this store for a junk-shop. Then she went out."— Jewellers’ Week A PLEASANT PROGRAMME. Mamma—" Mercy me! Don't take so much candy.” Little Dot—"* But you said T could have some candy for taking that medicine.” “Of course, but so much will make you sick again.” “Well, then I can take some more medicine and have some more candy, can't 17'—New York Sun. LONDON’S CELEBRATED SURGEON DENTIST, DR. GEORGE H. JONES, Cordially endorses the and adds: "* Unlike bristles, it is harmless in use, and being a most excellent polisher and absorbent Thoroughly Preserves the Teeth, A Useful Gift at all times, CARL PRETZELS PHILOSOPHY. I vonce run on an errand, I vish it had been a banna- peel. Charidy seldom dond’t shtob on her house in cold vedder. Ofer you vas lofe to ad-mire, fall yourself a mud- puddle in, Tt don'd vas der feller mit a cloven foot dot vas der shpiciest shpeaker. Vhen you throw laziness der vindow out, der cellar gets plaindy coal in dot. It vas all right to been goot, but it vas of more worth to been goot for someting. A feller cood shpout more religion in fife minoots as he cood bractice by his whole life. It vas a circular singleumshtance vat a bad memory a rich man got for his poor relations, Fellers dot shtood around a keg of beer looking for a job vill vore him glasses pooty gwick. Dots besser you nefer don'd try to kill idy comes along pooty gwick, hurry enuff. Der feller dot eats himself der bersimmon vat dond vas ripe yoost yet, got bitter words for all der fellers, Dond’t forgot it, dot vhen you vas low down mit der gutter dhere vas a beaudiful shky your head ofer. A feller mit one leg on der roat to wirtue vill valk der shtuffin a feller out mit two legs on der roat to efil. Der vorldt vas half goot und half badness. Look der goot on der face und your back vas on der bad fellers. Der bulliest froot dot der dust of dis earth prodooces vas a feller dot got plaindy gratitood in his frame vorks. Nefer don'd look to found der behindhand in your friend, You don'd could took someting out of dot hand, A goot many fellers hafe dwo seasons: A shpring dot vas come gwick, und a fall dot vas so gwicker like der deuce. ‘To been oxcrootionately goot, mitout knowledge fon fs you a high inshtep in der esdimation of your Edern- seeds vat you plant vas full of dheir outsides in mit goot shtuffin’ Der frolicks of der oldt man, und der efils of dot, dond’t should been hantet down to der poy oxcept he vants dot. Dhere nefer vas a schooner of beer dot g6t grounded ona bar, und dhere nefer vasa fool dot got wise efen by oxberience. Der bug bed vas a shmall quadruped, but he vas yoost der feller dot cood make a mans mit a chiant indelleck feel for him. Der game of chess used to been a Sunday-school house game, but on ackound der bishops was acting so gweerly it vas lossing ids presdidge. Condentment vas der sugar und der milk in der coffee- cup of life, und der reason you don'd get some abbrecia- tions of it vas because der brice to got it vas not high ub. Young married coubles setttin’ out housekeebin’ und | vant some preddy ornamendts for dheir mantel-pieces may cotch a life shkunk; he vill make a bully scent-er-piece. Gossip vas der mudder-by-law of lying. By some | blaces it vas rage like some eppidemick. "Vhen it vas | become chronicky in a voomans dots besser you look pooty vell out, ofer you lif by her naberhoot. COME ON, MEN! Have we any exchanges around to spare? Lots of them—slathers, and free as ai Piled up, as you see, from desk to shelf So camp on our shoulders and help yourself. Come in when we're busy and get you a mess; Stroll in when we're humping to get to press; Will it bother us any? Oh, no; not a speck; Walk in and straddle the proof-reader's neck. —Blizard, “* What is wonderful about you ?" asked the visitor to the museum. ‘Can you crush a cartwheel between your thumb and forelinger, or make your chest big enough to hold the crown jewels of England ?” ** No; I'm the clergyman who hasn't preached a ser- mon on” Robert Elsmere.’ "—Etening Sun. THE CELEBRATED | PIANOS ARE AT PRE THE MOST POPU PREFERRED BY LEADING ARTISTS WAREROOMS ; 149, 181, 153, 155 EAST 14TH STREET, N.Y. SOFLIMERE & Co., PHILADELPHIA, PA., 1119 Chestant St, CHICAGO, ILL, 236 8: SAN FRANCISCO. CAL., ST, LOUIS, MO., 1522 Olive Strect. SEALSKIN. All the newest shapes in Sealskin Garments, ‘The styles, quality, and prices cannot be beaten by any house in the Fur Trade. HENRY SIEDE, The 14th St. Furrier, 14 West 14th Street, New Yo Between sth and éth Avenues, ESTABLISHED OVER 38 YEARS. SEND FOR CATALOGUE. Crosse & Blackwell FRESH FRUIT JAMS, Made from English Fresh Fruits AND REFINED SUCAR, Are Sold by all Grocers IN THE UNITE C. C. SHAYNE, Manufacturer of Sealskin Garments Newest styles and all leading fashionable furs. 103 Prince Street, New York. Fashion book Mailed free. Send your addre STATES. comicbooks.com