Judge, 1888 · page 64 of 72
Judge — 1888 — page 64: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains six brief humorous sketches typical of Judge's satirical style: **"Logical"**: A child's literal interpretation of parental logic—if he must eat touched food, shouldn't he drink spilled cream? **"Two Ways of Doing It"**: Contrasts complimenting a woman's teeth (stupid) versus making her laugh (clever). **"Cause and Effect"**: A child who hit back first claims innocence, satirizing both the child's logic and the nurse's un-Christian advice to retaliate. **"Too Raw"**: A braggart hunter boasts about eating bear meat, then flees in terror from an actual bear—mocking false bravado. **"Sad"**: A reflection on aging and wrinkles as time's bitter harvest. **"Very Welcome Indeed"**: Social satire on boring houseguests—the hostess invites a tedious Mr. Borem to visit again before moving, but her uncertain move date suggests she hopes to avoid him. These are genteel Victorian-era jokes about manners, vanity, and social hypocrisy rather than political commentary.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
62 NATURAL GAS FROM JUDGE. LOGICAL. “But you must eat it, since you touched it,” insisted his father. Master Bobby has eyes considerably larger than his stomach. “All right,” replied Tommy. “Then if I put my finger in the The other day at table he was fingering a piece of bread he did cream jug must [ drink it all up?” not want to eat. TWO WAYS OF DOING IT. From a pretty woman's album. “A stupid fellow compliments a woman on her pretty teeth, but a clever one makes her laugh.” CAUSE AND EFFECT. A child was playing with some other child- ren when it began to cry on account of having received a smart slap in the face from one of its companions. | “You must hit the nasty thing back,” says nurse, who had never read the sermon on the mount. But I hit it back f-f-f-first,” sobbed the enter- prising infant. ““Tis queer you chose a wife that's deaf ; Pray tell, how did that come?” “Perhaps ; but you forget, friend Jef, That she is also dumb.” TOO RAW. Brown, who is a bit of a braggart, was once out hunting in the Rockies with a friend whom he wished to impress with the idea that he (Brown) was a second Nimrod. “Now,” went on the mighty hunter, “how I do like bear’s meat, broiled—not too well done, you know.” Just then aturn of the road brought them in sight of a magnificent grizzly seated on a rock. “Oh! that’s not my style,” shouted poor Brown, taking to his heels; “he's not well enough cooked!” Py SAD. ae : - Reflection by a once pretty woman :—Wrink- TE ONLY, WEIGHED HALF A TON: tes are the furrows in which Time sows the ropelike grim defftill I goes up an’ pull de bale in.” seeds of ennui with a generous hand.” VERY WELCOME INDEED. Fatx_nostess—'Now, Mr. Borem, you must spend one more evening with us before we go into our new house.” Mr. Bore (graciously) t certainly. with pleasure. When do you move?” Fair Hostess (doubt/ully)—* Pa is uncertain just when that will be, but not for a year or two at the least.” comicbooks.com