Judge, 1888 · page 15 of 72
Judge — 1888 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"A Talk with St. Nicholas"** features Santa Claus giving a mock autobiography, claiming to be 4,000 years old, born on an Arctic iceberg to a father in the "ice business." The humor lies in the absurdist backstory—Santa blames his early struggles on being literally "an icicle" that people avoided, and eventually inherits his father's fortune from supplying icebergs to steamships. This appears to be satirizing either wealth inheritance or the commercialization of Christmas traditions. **"Phylis and I"** is a brief poem about romantic jealousy, where the narrator's ex-lover Phylis has married someone, but the narrator claims philosophical acceptance because "He, she, and I are one"—likely mocking sentimental or self-deceptive romantic poetry popular at the time. **"A Christmas Disaster"** shows a sequential comic strip (panels 1-5) depicting physical comedy, apparently involving someone and a child in winter conditions, though the exact narrative is unclear from the illustrations alone. All three pieces exemplify Judge's style of whimsical, absurdist satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A TALK WITH ST. NICHOLAS. I had a talk with that philan- thropic saint of Christmas time, the other day, old Santa Claus. “Well,” said Santa, after we lighted our meerschaums, “ this is'a funny world, isn’t it?” “Yes, indeed,” said I. “I sup- pose you have an opportunity to see a great many queer things. I don’t iike to appear too inquisi- tive,” I ventured, “but there are something more than a million readers of Jupce who would like to know your history. Would you object to giving me the out- lines of it?” “T was born, thousand yea said Santa, “four ayo yesterday, on an iceberg in the Arctic ocean. I don’t look it, but Iw. y parents were in excellent circum- NATURAL GAS FROM JUDGE. PHYLIS AND I. PHYLIS and I with burning sigh Parted a year ago. Phylis, they say, w: sent away Because I love d I both vowed we'd die T proved untrue, they say, was wed to-day, Now what am 1 to do? Phylis and he. O happy he Who has my darling’s heart! Phylis, they say, is bright and gay; T would not have them part. lisand he! Who can he be ¢ bliss has just begun ? Why don't you see? He, she, and I are one. Morgan Mac Knight, A CHRISTMAS DISASTER. 3 stances—my father was in the ice business. I presume this had something to do with the subse- quent coolness that sprang up later between the old gentleman and myself, for when I was twenty years old I left the roof of my father’s ice house, but how unprepared to earn my own liv- ing! I was an icicle, the people said, and they would have noth- ing to do with me. Social ostra- cism was more than I could bear, and so, after hanging around some eavestroughs for two or three years, and hearing that my paternal ancestor was melting towards me, I hastened back to his house. Alas! I was too late, for when I arrived 1 found that he was dead. He had left a will, carefully done up and laid away in a first-class burglar-proof Aré- tic chill, which was found to contain a provision that I was to » expend his vast fortune—gained _ in furnishing icebergs to ocean steamship companies—for the benefit of humanity. 1 thought of a thousand and one ways in which humanity might be bene- fited by the vast fortune at my disposal, and finally settled on the plan that I have been carry- ing out ever since. As you doubtless well know, | have had. no competition to fight against. ‘This has made me lose heart of late years, and now that most of comicbooks.com