Judge — 1888 — page 62: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GOOD THINGS FROM JUDGE. THE CLEANED-OUT CLUB. SOME GOOD UTILIZATION. " ‘ ~ AFTER ALL. time since we . saw you at * the club.” “I've been staying with my uncle.” “Your mil- lionaire uncle?” “Yes,” “Ts he ill?” “Seriously so, I fear.” “Alas, money doesn’t bring happiness.” “Yes, it does ~—it brings happiness to others,” Mas. Qui-ty—" Will yez shtop shnorin’, John, an’ doan’ be jigglin’ th’ candle, ’till Oi rade about th’ percission goin’ — by Flannelly’s saloon.” . : 7 De wicked — Victorious POKER-PLAYER—"*Good ebenen’, gents. De nex’ time yer wants offen wondah ‘The main difference as to cruelty and meanness ler play a stacked deck on a stranger, yer wants ter find out dat he yaintTom }oW' oddahs between the cowboy and the Indian is that the Ochiltree’s body-sarbent befo'hand. "I'll come roun’ in de mornin‘ an’ git de cuspedohs.”” kin be good. cowboy never gets caught. __ THE SOBER SECOND THOUGHT. - EXEMPLIFIED. The next time I give out a battle-flag order I won't do it—G. Cleveland, Away up in Trinity stceple is a broken win- dow. The legend connected with it is brief. A woman at the Battery threw a stone at a dog on Staten Island. Misfortune seldom comes singly ; most farm- ers use a double-barreled gun now-a-days. Compliment to an esteemed contemporary— “The Spotter is nothing if it is not truthful; so it is nothing.” The extreme thirst that prevails here on Sun- day, according to Mr. Malaprop, is enough to peel the bark off a yellow dog. It is estimated that Smith caught the most and the largest fish during the summer outing, and Smith is the man who is always telling you about it. . ane Progress" and * Poverty.” THOUGHT HE HAD FOUND A — it = WELL FROZEN. Customer—‘ Give me a quart of ice- cream, please. Oh, by the way, is it well frozen? I don’t like it if it isn’t.” Dealer—"1 should say it was. We've hired a Boston girl to come over and look into the freezer every hour.” Customer —“ Make that two quarts, please.” Among the curious questions that the scientist has yet to present is this—Why is a milk-stool invariably limited to three legs, while that of the counting-room is not considered complete unless it has four? You must not question the methods of the priest. That was the old ides. You must not criticise those of the judiciary, That is the new one. . _Tn our opinion it was Shakespeare who did the literary part of the Baconianism ; L BRAKEMAN—* Sxthmog-g-g-gth-Ix str. but that was so small, comparatively Exite (from the orient, over-joyed)—* Wog-abeneffend—b-r-r-mazin ahab! "— (and we understood one as Speaking, that William would be glad to well as the other.) have it overlooked, comicbooks.com