Judge — 1888 — page 58: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ENOUGH TO START WITH. Between dear friends. “Do you know that little Mrs. B. pretends to be a col- lector of antiquities? You don't believe she really has any, do you?” “Oh, yes—her certificate of birth to begin with.” A NICE DISTINCTION. “Well, Master Tommy, do you call that manners, to put a piece of cake in your mouth and then put it back on the plate?” “Oh, no, papa! I didn't bite it, I only kissed it.” LIFE AND LOVE. Found in an Album, “If one had to pay to get into life, how many would want theirmoney back on leav- ing it!” “In love, two sometimes become one; but in friendship —never!” Flowers are so high-priced this Winter that the Boston Courier says they can. be en- joyed only by condemned murderers. GOOD THINGS FROM JUDGE. ee Little Charley's scientific experiment upun his poor old dad's bald head meets with a sad end. SCIENCE AND MISCHIEF. } 3D Dame—‘‘Arrah thin, Dinnis, I hear yez haz been fishin’ to-day instead of goin’ to school.” THE RIGHT ROD. Son—* Well, Oi didn’t catch nothin, if Oi did.” Dame (serene, but decided )~** That's because yez didn't hav the roight koind Yez'Il catch somethin’ now wid the rod Oim holdin’, yez 0’ rod, Oi suy kin bet!” ind he does) A NEW GAG. Actor—* How did my gags go last night?” Manager —* First-rate. Some one sent one to me to-day that he would like to have you try to-night.” Actor— What is it?” Manager—“ A bottle of cod- liver oil.” It is well enough to flash some indignant fire at those Canadians and those Mexi- cans; but it is a good idea that you must never shoot until you get your gun loaded. The governor of Maryland has married a pretty” girl. Hurrah for the governor of Maryland.—Philadelphia News. Stupid! Hurrah for the pretty girl! “The June is a lovely fly,” says the editor of the Fishing Gazelle, Thank you, sir— thank youkindly. But not too fi—, not too lovely, you know. comicbooks.com