Judge — December 22, 1888 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

170 TO BE READ IN THE GLOAMING. SHE WAS an epitome of all that is to be said in the way of refine- ment. Her mother was born in Salem, Massachusetts, and met her father at Boston literary donation party. Head- lines could not impress her breeding better than is done in these few words of lower-case; so that when the man whom she called “husband” answered her query as to what kind of fur he preferred (London Punch) for a Christ- mas present in connection with his overcoat trimming, by the avowal that he always liked the “ badger racket,” she quietly and diligently fainted. HUM OF THE COURT. THE DEMOCRATS are getting up a grand army of their own, What be if all the confederate veterans are ad- mitted to membership. CASUAL REMARK in Indianapolis—* that politics are a waste of time!” A. DEALER in false hair says the Langtry knot, of became so popular that it destroyed her business, Langtry knot was also pretty severe on Mr. Langtry. a grand. army it wi And yet they say TION of the hour is, not who is goir inet, but who isn’t. If anybody has he gentleman last mentioned, let him send the n: to go into [F THEY HAD our department of justice in the Whitechapel district the fiend of that locality would soon be arrested—and then Colonel Fellows would never find time to prosecute him. HANLER says in a poem that she loves women and ulde like to take the’ sufferings on herself even as the death is exceedingly generous; but they do say that ic has cholera morbus she shrieks so you can hear her all over save all sinners. when An the house. OUTLAWED HONESTY. Rey. Mr. PUReereRs (zoho Aus surprised one of his parishioner)—* Mistah Lufferly, Use ‘fraid yo’ doan’ know whad d’ bes’ poli “ Me. Lerrrty— d pike, runs do squar'est joint in d’ town, policy am, "Deed I does, sah! ‘deed I does! Ole Unc'l Hascom, down on OHN SHERMAN wants to annex Canada; but Mr. Blaine wants to annex everything, to and including the Panama canal. -BINDERS have had so many meetings of elicitation that :RM of the president ought to be eight years, says the De- Press; and that paper adds with great haste, “Let the long term begin with the next Democratic president.” Wh: of postponing the reform to the last end of eternity? HEY ARE showing now that Benjamin Harrison is a direct descendant of Pocahontas. Perhaps this is why all the John Smiths voted for him, JUDGE CONTRIBUTOR brought in a batch of jokes on the day before Thanksgiving, and at the bottom of them were the words “Turkey or feathers?” It was the Best joke of the batch, and he didn’t get a cent for it. That was the JUDGE'S joke. A KNOWN DUDE. GERTON HELDUP came down town in the rear car of an elevated train a day or two ago. The other passengers are not mentioned because we don’t know their names, and for the reason that south of one hundred and twenty-ninth street — where the trouble begins—nobody got aboard his special car. As the cavalcade of wheels, brass-buttoned wag reached for the next station below, a bevy (we use this word by advice) of Harlem girls made a lively break for the car gate. Merry laughter, flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes, mingled with the aroma of peanuts, caused the guard to reverse-curves and rners THE TRIALS OF THE PROFESH. DyiNG TeNOR—"*And can this be d-death ? 1 so young? And then me m-mother. Oh, ye you: to be prompted as he heard Miss Blenkinsoke remark, worked toay around on to your nose.”) Not yet! Ger-reat heaven ! Not y-yet, and 1¢ p-poor old m-mother !" (And then he had Miriam, dear, that courteplaster patch has slink a little, but by a super (Aluous) human effort he stood them off. * He's aboard!" was all he said, and the maidens waited until two trains went by to give him room.