Judge — December 8, 1888 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

136 HUM OF THE : | : WE ALWAYS forget COURT. . to say that which or : we ought to say until itis Toe eee too late to say it. —What you want to . ae otis bondi te tun PERHAPS Betva Lock- the rascals out. ; ; wood had better not a SONS : 4 be made secretary of war, WHERE WE hears : P i because if she were we vixen claim that RBH hesve fs pease marriage is a failure we . hurrah for her to the top Yai . é a THE BEST JOKE by of our voice. ss : . 2 Z Mark =‘Twain—That PEAKING of crema: => a nig 2 at ot q his tariff speech not only tion, there are. some “4 oF. failed to kill somebody, but persons who don't get it till : £ 3 2 “have that it carried Connecticut they have crossed the river, : p Fi : for the Democratic party. and then it takes a long . = ty i} [7 IS BILL NYE who time. Ie. 7 E enunciates the idea EMPEROR WILLIAM > WT ft that when one is in Lud- has many messages ae é 4 3 low-street jail he feel of peace, and some of them < Yi, aa and when he is in Sing are rammed into his can- j 3 ing prison he is totally non to be made the more 2 Z ~ without care. effective: 7 BENJAMIN HARRI- LL B. HARRI- SON had a hat in olittle hair IN DANGER. the very beginning of the id that people Miss Beecunor (as Trysdell moves away)—"* Do you think he's smitten, Nell?" busin It his are half inclined to call Miss Stares—" If Brother Tom knew that he was paying me any attention, he would be, dear, grandfather's hat, and it him the hairless son of his #4 smitten very hard too.” fits his head to the mil- illustrious and hirsute sire. lionth part of an inch. T MAY be true that the emperor of Germany recently kissed his mother, but the dear old girl probably had her face veiled so that he thought she was not that lady. THOSE WHO have seen the proof-sheets of the Christmas JupGe say itis adai we think it is a chrysanthemum with a pedigree that runs back to the garden of N CARRYING a folded umbrella always have the ferule out so as to catch the most eyes, Some people think ufnbrellas were made to catch large water instead of small tears, but that's a mistake, HE JUDGE is chided by the Troy 7e/eyram for claiming the whole credit of the election of Harrison, Oh, we are not so immodest as that. We are willing to admit % that the Demoérats carried Connecticut and New Jersey. THERE IS A STORY that Amelie Rives was infatuated with John McCullough, and ) that it was John who left the famous cigar-stub. Ah, well; it is at least a comfort to suspect that it was a Virginia stub, and not the Connecticut article of tobacco. j HE LONDON POLICE are looking for a man with split hoofs, a mashed nose and four ears to represent the Whitechapel murderer, the deformities being worn by him for purposes of identification ;, but when the murderer is found he will prove to be a man with thin lips, a gentle demeanor, and a smile sharp enough to scuttle a ship. ir" BUYING THE ENGAGEMENT RING. Miss Brunow—" How much is this one? Jar Koh-i-ncor.) Why, what is the mattah ?° SALESMAN (recovering from the pressure of the foot “Um-ah, nothing, I assure you; but I regret to say that particular ring was made to order and is not for sale.” (Points ata B, HARRISON has a will of his own, and let us hope * he will live so long that the bench and the bar will never have power to break it up. THEY SAY there is a fight in Ohio between John Sherman, Governor Foraker, and some others. Ah, well; this is a first-rate time for a Republican trouble of that kind, A STRANGE AFFINITY. ourself is to go over the falls of Niaga Mucktesty—"' I believe I'm a victim of hypnotism, Freddy.” and adds hastily, “Try and take a hackman with you PELL, How are you affected 7 " 2 “Why, [ got a letter from my cousin in London, saying that he took a cock- when you go over, tail at exactly ten every morning. So do I.” s comicbooks.com