Judge — November 10, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE MARRIED AN’ GONE. HE, HOUSE js dretful lonesome since Milly's gone away; ‘Though she's only gone across the road it's ‘cause she's gone to stay; An’ when she comes to see me now she’s full o’ talk o' Fred, ‘Tell I'd like to take him back the barn an’ punch him in the head, It seems to me the good old days is over now an’ gone, An’ nothin’ left but lonesomeness an’ gray hairs comin’ on. Why, I ‘member when she used to come a-toddlin’ to the gate An’ be watchin’ down the lane fer me, an’ couldn't hardly wait Tell she saw me come a-hur up the lane to her an’ home, An’ then nothin’ couldn't hold her, she’s so glad to see me come, Then when old sand-man come around and sleepy-time would be, No one could tell the stories right exceptin’ only me. An’ then when she was older how her purty cheeks would glow When she'd say “* she'd stick to father, didn’t want no other beau.” ‘There's no one now to scold me ef I wear a shabby coat ‘There's nobody to lead me in the way that I should vot ‘There's nothin’ but remember tell suthin’s like to break, ‘Though L try to seem as chipper as old times jest fer her sake. O Milly, ef you only could be little once again— Jest my four-year-old, thet didn’t love no one but father—then, Jest to keep ye so—unchangin' tell the sleepy man come round ‘An’ you an’ me, my baby, slept together Sabegrodndt FLORENCE. PRATT, RIGHT WHEN HE WAS WRONG. D., who had been left a widower and married again, revisited New= port during his second wedding trip. “I recognized you the moment I laid eyes on you,” remarked the Boniface of the hotel where ire stopped : A NATURAL Female body (interviewing liter: book about prominent it INFERENCE. y character) —" We are writing a crary men who are either divorced or live un- Literary character—" \ndeed! And what can | do for you, ladies?” but your wife has grown Female body—" We thought you might be kind enough to give us some personal points on the subject.” Literary character— don’t see how I can serve you in this matter. I have an excellent digestion, and I love my wife.” Female body (in chorus)— “Why didn’t you marry one of Juliet Corson’s graduates ?" A TRUE ECONOMIST. “Flour’s. going up,” said Younghusband, as he made des- perate but futile efforts to ampu- tate a portion of his supper loaf, “and I think it would be better, Matilda, if you would buy y' bread at the b: i wasting the raw material in ex- periments.” “Why, my dear,” she re- plied, in a grieved tone, “ you can’t complain that my. bread doesn’t last us Zong enough ! VERY, VERY NEW. Customer—"\ see you ad- vertise something new in coffee. What is it?” Grocer —" Coffee.” should be delighted to oblige y MEMBER OF THE SOCIETY ¢ that! Yes?" u, but 1 A CURED SAMARITAN. PeteNDS—" It is brutality to treat a man like Loosen his bonds that 1 may commune with him,” “It seems, too, that she used (9 be taller.” You think so?” “Yes, and a little more blonde, wasn’t she?" You are quite right, my sir, Allow me to compli- ment you on the excellence of your memory; but allow me to add that your remarks are true only of my first wife.” A FREE: . Jobley (to Miss Gilder, whom he has met during vacation)— “Ah, 1 believe 1 have had the pleasure of Miss Gilder (icily)—" No: b do not remember ever buying anything from you before. LITERALLY CORREC Minister —" Vertie, do you know where the little boys yo who catch fish on Sunday > rtie—" Yes, sir; most of them go down to Johnson's MEMRER OF THE SOCIETY OF FRIENDS (as the ruffian is secured again)— “Hang the unregenerate son of Beelzebub !”