Judge — November 3, 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

galloping over an English Meadow in high suddenly fell intoa Well, While Bemoan- ing its F; American Goat, visiting the Country for pur- poses of Admiration and Imitation, and chancing along that way, looked sympathetically down on the Helpless Ani- mal, “Please help me,” said the Fox. “I should be Glad to do so,” said the Goat,“ but how can 1?" “Come down and see,” was the reply of the Imprisoned Animal. No sooner were the words spoken than the Generous Goat rapidly descended ; and no sooner had his hind feet touched NEVER SAW ANYTHING LIKE IT. the water than the Fox, climbing over his Body and Head Uk, PrAkiie Vee Seen Sacer Edy Satu, and Horns with Great Agility, reached the surface and an’ now here goes five cents slap-bang ter see her go.” turned and Calmly ed his Generous Helper. “* How shall / get out?" said the American the Fox with an air of contempt. “ You were fool e toGet In; now sce if you can be Wise enough to Get Out.” A QUEER LOTTERY. * What a lottery marriage is !" exclaimed Cora. “ Why, there's Mary Andrews, she’s married De Smythe—rather stupid, but the best catch of the season.” Yes,” assented } der. But it isa queer lot- tery. She drew a blank that is worth ten thousand a year.” MODERN FACILITIES REQUIRED. Policeman— Hello there, old fellow! Have you gone daft? What are you doing with that lighted lantern in broad daylight 2” Questionable person—"\ am the re-incarnated spirit of Diogenes. 1am tooking for an honest man.” Policeman—* Ob, excuse me. 88. If you'll just wait few minutes I'll consult the authori ‘ eee TIRED STATION AGENT—"* Blame yer, I ain't no safe!" A MASTERLY FIND. Stranger (in town) y. mister, what's that terrible disturbance down below 2” Citizen (of Park row)—“ Sure, there do be a man murdhered at the Brooklyn bridge intrance, sor. Stranger acious! Have the police found the assassin ?” Ci ‘or; but Oi belave they have managed to capture the corpse. CPUSHED. He loved a blushing maiden, Her father moved the lever, Ht his soul was full of fear, And before the day was done ‘So he spoke into a phonograph That phonograrh was guarded The words he'd have her bear. By a bull-dog and a gun. WITH THE JUNKMAN. “What will you give for that ?” don’t buy second-hand musical instruments.” hat is no musical instrument. It is a student’s lamp that the hired girl lassoed with a dusting rag and yanked off the mantlepiece, I offer it to you as old metal.” Jeitkman— Excuse me, sir; | thought it was a Bb flat cornet.” NOT TRUE BLUE. gs and Wagys pass a blue-ribboned pug, which growls at them surlily and prolongedly. ibbon disciple THE ONLY REASON. CRITICISM AT THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM. Dejected author Why do you think m ticle was returned to me?” Resipent oF HARLEM (soho has strolled in)—"* V'm layin’ tent” one dat Voung lady (who has read it)}—" I can’t think, unless you sent it to der bloke what carved dat out never sced Micky Welch Crow der ball, some editor and wanted him to print it. comicbooks.com