Judge — October 27, 1888 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A BORDERLAND INCI- DENT. When Mrs, Cummingsoon arrived at the terrestial frontier she was met at the golden gate by the celestial passenger agent, who held out his hand, saying, * Credentials, please, Alas!" replied the woman, my credentials are at home in the pocket of my best black silk gown. I received notice to come only three days before starting, and was unable to find the pocket in that short length of time >u will remain here,” sard the agent, deftly piling up three or four wornout crowns for her to sit on, “till I telephone below to have them sent up. At this moment Mrs, Cum- mingsoon’s little pug. which had accidentally drowned in its per- 6 , : com A NERVE-KILLER NEEDED. fumed bath,came running up, and Covsix Tou" Hallo, Carrie! You've got a hat just like Mary Maybud’s, as the enraptured woman clasp- Cousin Cagkir—" Yes; do you like it?” ed it to her breast she discovered _ Cousty ‘Tox="* Well, it looks n pretty ; but the beastly things scrape a fellow’s forehead so." (Nhe find alzeays thougit that Mary Maybud a sly mins.) LETTING THE CAT OUT. VoLuBLe KaRneR—" Did you ever hear about? Pariest—* You asked me if 1 wanted bay rum, | believe 7 the missing credentials, which Barwer—"* Cert, had been fastened to the pug’s Partext—" If you're going to add talking to that razor V'd like about a quart of the um internally at Gace The papers were duly panched by the agent, and the woman went on her way rejoicing neck by some thoughtful friend, By which latter circumstance is manifest the innate selfishness of human A DISMAL PROSPECT. kind. For the pug remained on the hither side. “And when will you name the happy day?” asked. young Grotius apres ¢ tenderly pressed the fie hand that fluttered in his own. NO SLAVE TO RUM. 7.” replicd'the fair girl: "Fee. be same time when * My poor fellow,” said Mrs, Pancake, as she gave the tramp some you are not pressed with business, for we should want'to go away for a bread and meat, “iC you would only let the demon rum alone there might while. [will tell you when you have finished the case you are now ene be a chance for you to get up in the world.” agen” ~ Rum!" he replied : “why, bless your soul, ma’am, it’s more'n a year avens, Amelia!” he gasped, “would you drive me to my grave NOW since I've had anything to drink except the scttiin’s 6” beer-kegs 1" > Don't you know I'm one of the attorneys in the New York a z x . TERRORS OF SUMMER BOARDING. ate Nmall boy—" Ma, mat we've got to get away from here, It's ANOTHER JIM. dangerous, ‘They're cannibals! | he just helping Billy tic the cat to An Irishman at a post-office delivery window asked, “Anything for the dog's tail atthe gutter when Mr. Hawkins came to the kitchen door, m McCarty?" ‘The clerk: looked the necessary lettersthrough and replied, Nothing for Jim McCarty.” Lmmediately the inquirer's companion asked, “Anything for Jim MeCarty "1 just looked for Jim McCarty,” said the clerk. Shure,” said the last [rishman, “it’s another Jim MeCarty Lam.”* The simplest question has more sides than we ean see. and he called out, * Wife, get everything ready as quick as you can—we'll have that fat Mr. Johason for dimer, and his wife and baby for supper!" ROBBING PETER TO PAY PAUL. ‘an't you hunch up your shoulders and make that Ree suit yer. sir? coat fit a little better ? comicbooks.com