Judge — October 20, 1888 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ONE-SIDED WARFAR' S the canal-boat Pollvann- thus pulled out of her slip the wharf-lounget noticed that » the space around the rudder post was packed solidly with an assortment of immense quo- haug clams, each one as big as a dinner-plate. ping to feed pretty well on this trip, captain,” was the ventured remark, har’s whar yer wrong,” said Captain Newbug, as he picked one up and fondled it gently; “thems ammernition, Y" see, Cap'n Bill Soggerties an’ me has hed a feud, and Wese agoin’ ter meet this hitch ‘long about Rhinebec with him on th’ down trip, an’ I'm agoin’ ter fetch him th’ allefiredest bumbardment he ever seen in his life!" But you're surely not going to throw those good clams? “You bet Ibe! "see Bill, he’s sech a gol-drotted hog and th’ clams is so blamed eatin’, he'll never chuck “m back agi n, an’ I'll xo scot fre coopwis, HEAVILY LADEN. Jessica—" Please carry my purse for me, Cousin Rommy—that’s a good boy.” vomulus—* Aw, now, I should be chawmed—upon my soul 1 would but I've got my cane to carry, don’t yah se A MODERN PROJECTILE. id accident you've had, Cars strike her?” ‘Some chump throwed out one o' them Vo'keepsie resterator san'wiches an? A GREAT EXCUSE. [haven't any sympa perience never teaches you men anything, have fallen down the cellar.” “What are you talking about?” growled the old man, rubbing his shins, “ Didn't we move since then and ain't this a different cellar ?” ny with you,” snapped out Mrs Brown, “* Ex- Here's the second time you fiurl bs RARE Few gae® A TERRIBLE REVENGE. ‘The doctor for his care Our thanks obtains, Bur not the dentist, though, Who “spares no BUZZ SAWS. A sad smile— Medicine. The empty truck makes the noise. most The stair creaks when you tread the lightest. The morrow brings forth many surprises, We never upset the inkstand when it is empty. Digging for bur- ied treasure wears out a good spade. Expect its own counting the min- utes. To be prepared for the unexpected is to be a philoso- pher. ‘The only thing a woman doesn’t like tight is her hus- band. We a great many more disagreeable places than school as we grow up. ave to go to way.