Judge — September 29, 1888 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A LEGEND OF BOWLING GREEN. WHEN Burgher Van Outen Van Tw" of old Manhattan island failed in* cheese business and was sold out at public auction by the high sheriff, he would insist on having his little joke. “Lam old,” he said. “You are,” said the sheriff. “Lam Dutch, too, am I not?” “Most certainly,” replied the man of law. “And Lam finane I stove up 2” as he stuck “Alas! observed the unlucky merchant, “after all these years of business probity I find myself resolved into nothing but an old Dutch stove.” And a tear twinkled merrily from his eye and splashed over the sea-wall into the kill. THE DIMECROTIC FAIR. Whin the county fairs he’s open to ivery sort an’ k The Dimecrotic party (God rest their souls for a lot of ilegant gint Will not be lift behind, dures be’s shtandin’ open, the judges on the shpnt foind the seales where the prisidiat be's goin’ to be weighin’ himsilf WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE. HARLEM PATRON (rushing in)—"* Quick! Get this up to my house! I's a matter of life or an’ big BOOZ (messenger number 44)—"* Lemme take it, Sully. Dey's der boss Hez been ilegantly fitted up for the special accommedation afther his arduous laborsof the — game 'r b: in’ on ‘bout five blocks dis side ‘r where dat bloke lives.” the slo Widow Maginnis’s pig. The swing the circle didn’t come a bit tao Late HERE WAS so much Hill at Buffalo the other day that the big little man in the valley was utterly forgotten. Jones he paid the freight SUPPOSE the Millerites give their attention to the probable period of There's the muswump hash enti free-trade crazy-aquilt, the breakin; of this long, tong congress. which might not have been there at all if it hadn't so THE QUEEN'S ED ISH —" Vich I vants a drop 0° stout an’ a re That iver yet was built t : : pos : o' beef vich ‘as no cookin’ to ‘t. Let nv e ‘em ‘ere an’ I ha The reform in civil service ts le if yer want to see it ye must jus wn the sthrect, and afther drop. NO More, tin’ a slimall evatheibution in the hat placed convaniently’ fo : A SQUARE, JAW and a protruding chin, according to the physiogno- Pusill be free to ane and all! mist of the Rochester Pos/-/xpress, indicate moral courage. What a moral-courage kind of man John L. Sullivan must b HUM OF THE COURT. [FI a matter of great regret on the part of the Democratic party that W MEN are willing to acknowledge the corn until they are obliged his grandfather's hat wasn’t blown off and didn’t take his letter of ac- to call on the chiropodist. ceptance with it; but that kind of breeze doesn’t blow this year. *¢NO SANE FEMALE.” says the Pitsburg Televrapét speaking of CONTEMPORARY says that as Governor Hill is now on deck the jilting, * would throw an editor over.” Hooray! Let us give battle might as well proceed. This mixing of metaphors is inexcus- three cheers just as soon as she recovers. able, Of course the contemporary means the euchre-deck and the game. Mk. JOHN COBB Syracuse having gone to the penitentiary, it may be remarked perhaps that he has resumed his husks. THE MAN who committed suicide because four women wanted to sue him for my probably jumped out of the fire into the frying-pan, a cinder out of your eye,” says a scientific authority, “rub the other eye.” Which other eye? Perhaps the man wouldn't like it TIS CLAIMED by the Free Press that Detroit has the purest milk of any city of its size in the land. Perhaps the place also claims a new kind of cow. N VIEW of the situation when President Cleveland thinks of ‘Thanksgiving day he feels like going out and proclaiming thunder and lightning to the universe. NE OF Bismarck’s sleeping-rooms is said to be as simply Surnished as the sleep- ing-room of a German peasant; but if the er doesn’t come with the beer as soon as TRANSFUSION OF IVORY. ing for the iron man twists himself into ; , such carious shapes that he can’t straighten urR—" Say, sonny ! 1 lost my teeth out when ks Livin Jinay Fisiver (an hour later}—"'Dinged I took that last dive. Run upto the hotel and tell my sut until the next day at “fever I see a blackfish fitted with a chewer like that, wife to send down my spare set, will yer?” o'clock. afor hims comicbooks.com