Judge — September 15, 1888 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TRUE ARTIST. MULATTO CUSTOMER—"* See heah, boy! you ain't got dem shoes half black enough. What's de matter wif you?” Hoorntack—" Well, yer see, boss, 1 lil have keepin’, and if | make dese shoes any blacker it ‘Il make ion look se rything in ‘complex- IT IS NICE AND ROOMY. Old lady—" V'm going down to the sea-shore and I want suthin‘ nice and roomy to bathe in.” bresh clerk— Ves, ma'am: how would the Atlantic ocean do?” DOMESTIC JOYS. There can never be ane like it in the world ; Just see the dainty way in which it’s curled Such graceful and aristocratic air And ob! such sweetly soft and pretty hair! Come here and ther * boofer™ hug 5 And at the loving call up walked —her pug. SEA-WEED. The lightest girl doesn’t always tloat the best. ‘The girl with the pretty foot never wears stockings. The big wave comes when we have let go the rope. The tipsy bather has a hard job to blow the froth off the wave. ‘The clam-shell alw: up when you tread on ys has its sharp point The prettiest bather you ever saw was on the advertising posters. It takes a big stocking to connect with the modern bathing costume. The drowning bather has to strike out for himself when there is nobody near, The color of a bathing suit is about the only fast thing in this world that won't run, The prudish girl always gets into the bathing- house with the most knot- holes in it. It isn’t because she loves the water that the pretty bather is sometimes called a duck When a girl screams and throws her arms around you it is difficult to tell whether she loves you or is merely scared. Although we are all prepared for impo- sition at the sea-side resorts, it is said that a demure Boston girl objected to the bathing costume that was handed her because it came so high. convenience. A DEVICE. For carrying a cane, umbrella and dog with no in- SOMETHING WANTING. Lynner—* Hello, chappy ! 1 all rigged out for yachting, eh?" Skane Vaas. " Got everything but the yacht, HE COULDN'T PREACH TO Crasus RS POLITE. “I'm afraid, deacon, that we'll have to notify our pastor that his resignation would be accepted if tendered.” The deacon—* Why, don't you.think he is an able and faithful ex- pounder of the word “Um! Well, he may be all that; but then, you know, « cultured congregation like ours may be willing to believe things, but doesn’t like to hear them mentioned, Crassus DIDN’T LIKE RED WINE. He was just putting his hand on the saloon door-knob, when a voice ung man, have you ever looked upon the wine when it was red? No, sir,” he said, proudly “Lam glad to hear you say so, young man,” replied the cautioning voice. “No: you see | never drink anything but champagne.” BRUTALLY FRANK. Two dancers, who had been attempting a waltz at a ball, stopped a moment during 3 pause in the music So you are fond of waltzing?” asked the lady. l adore it,” responded her cavalier. “Then hadn't you better try and HER REJECTION. As we played at wily poker, Tried I hard to read her mind ; In the various poker language, * Telling” phrases sought to But my chips of hope she scattere: As she drew, with hand 0 fair; Picking up the cards, she muttered Jack, 1 do not want to pair.” HE KNEW WHY. “Why is this engine like one of the seven wonders of the world 2" queried Smartic Smartboy as he pointed to a monster loco- motive. “ Because it’s a colossus of roads,” an- swered the other calmly, and Smartboy looked daggers at him for hitting the answer at the first attempt. The blind man escapes many dangers. comicbooks.com