Judge — September 1, 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE SOGGLESPEIL’S CAT. ILE was far from handsome on the day that little Fritzy Sogglespeil fished her out of the culvert opening at the corner; but a rugged stream from the hose improved her a bit, and when she dried out and set up a husky purring in gratitude her good dis- position hid her physical defects and she was taken in as a member of the Soggle- speil menage by acclamation, For several days she was content to lie under the ice-chest and allow the sewer- gas to work out of her pores; but one morning while the family were at breakfast she bounded out, caught the most plethoric rat that fhad ever been seen in the ward, placing it carefully at Mfr. Sogylespeil’s feet retired modestly to her latr. From that day Freida, as they called her, lived the life of a pampered queen. The choicest cuts of Frankfurter and the longest: draughts. of Sweitzerease buttermilk were hers, and. she waxed fat, but not lazy, and soon had the rats and mice feeling like New York aldermen in Mont At last came a day when when Sogglespeil bad company, and as 4 inexpensive and exciting entertainment he bought a large wharf rat for 4 to massacre to make a German h “Vait till you ged your eye on dot gat mit der rad,” he said to his wife's uncle. “She vill it gif der paralyze burty kewick, Led her go, Fridzy !" and Fritzy “let her go." ‘The eat made one grand bound, alighted squarely on the back of the squeaking rat, rolled her eyes back and forth a few times, turned a back summersault and tried to scratch her right-hand whiskers with her left back claw, at the same time giving vent to a plaintive “ whoop !” whickr Sogglespeil translated as a pavan of victory ‘The rat came up smi ter the onslaught with an expression of amazed doubt on his face at finding himself alive, and gazed into Freida’s face with much apparent pleasure. Once again did the cat make a bound, and this time she turned com- pletely over, rolled a short distance, and slapped herself up against the door-casing: like a wad of under-done dough. The rat, observing that he was hardly needed to add to the features. of the cireus, ran between Mrs, Sogylespeil’s feet, climbed the back of grossmamma’s rocking-chair and jumped out of the window, while Sogglespeil started for a Queen-Anne horse-pistol in a mortitied rage and his shirt sleeves. He was just about to sink an artesian well in the person of his pet when he noticed a peculiar expression on her face. On looking closer he straightened up, raised his hands aloft, Grandma Sogglespeil left the room to. get out of rar “1 vos a low Dutch schlossenwasser ohf dot cat aind god der mumbps But Freida did of have the mumps, for as little Fritzy crawled: coyly under the table, while grandma, with much gummy Muttering, searched anxiously for her new set of chewing apparatus, he was heard to murmur, “Heafen knows how | ged dem false toot's out dot gat’s moud, dey vos so hard to ged in, bud, by gracks ! vos id nod foon !!! A METAMORPHOSIS. Srupsey (the tramp)—" I'm blowed if I knowed yer, Mike! Been playin der races 7” Mike—"' No. Been playin’ dat bath-house while der dude's in der water.” Srupsey—"Guess L'il go in an’ gafile yourn, Dey’s better den mine. HER LAST CHANCE. An irate woman cntered « dry-goods store the other day and ac- costed one of the clerks: “T've come to find out what you mean by charging me a dollar Saturday night for that table-spread and selling Mrs. Ferguson one just like it on Monday for sixty cents, Didn't you say it was my last chance to yet one so cheap? You mistook me, madame,” responded the ready clerk: “1 said it uur last chance to get one for a dollar, And it was, for we put them down to sixty cents Monday morning.” 1g he would always win, speculations turned to gold: But, when he marriage entered in, aunts the bold, THE NEAR-SIGHTED GERMAN AND THE LIVE CIGAR. “ Acha! somesing apout dot Poulonger fighd !* Chit rey ! dot vos predily soot fer dot FI (discovering the hole which his cigar had burnt into the quet, shdickin’ him in der t'roat, unt ”"— Aiper)—"*Youst der mosd inderesdin blace too, by tam!" comicbooks.com Ju prc tt its de off au Re di ir I