Judge — July 14, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HER FORTE. Weary husband — \s supper almost ready, fear? I've been on the run all day Literary wife—* Ob, | don't know ; I guess ot. 1 haven't had time to see a thing about HW’. h-* Where are the children?" ZL. w.—* The children? Aren't they about he house somewhere? ‘They were here this norning.” 1. £. (doubtfully)—" Can you sew this but- It’s been off three days.” 1. w.—"Oh, my! not now, Wait till | tinish this interesting article on * Housekeeping ind the Care of Children’ for the Mother's Treasury. \'m perfectly absorbed in it; it’s a grand topic.” ton on my vest ? NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN. Mother, may 1 go a bathiny Ves, my darling daughter ; Don your scanty bathing dress, But don’t go near the water.” NOT A PROPITIOUS TIME. Minister —"|s your father in? 1 wish to speak with him about contributing something for the new parish house.” Boy—" Ves, pas at home. He's down cel- tar making a coal-bin, and I guess he’s just hit his thumb-nail with the hammer, Minister—"\ don't think I'll stop just now, Good morning.” FOREIGN, NOT understand DOMESTIC. Jobson Blobson’s wife is not a very domestic woman, Robson—" No wander She was born in a foreign country.” A CASE OF FORGETFULNESS. Mas. Beeronne Charming morning, Me. Eakins, I didn’t see. you at the hop last acuse me, but how beautifully you tread water!" Mus, BRETCHEK (i sudden and inexplicable alarm)—"Oh-o-ob, 1 forgot! ONE WAY OF COOLING OFF. A traveler who had just returned from Africa was quessioned by his Iriends as to the means used in that country to escape from the ter ible heat. “Yes,” he replied, “we have to avail ourselves of every possible protection against the weather, Sometimes a coolness arises between riends and then one can occasionally take refuge under the shadow of a suspicion.” POPULAR SONG. I" knead” thee every hour. A METAMORPHOSIS. Muggins—"1 saw a greater than Jekyll-and- Hyde change to-day. Our friend Shorty has be- come a seven-footei Jones—" How Muggins—"Ate tive pig’s feet at a free lunch,” REMINISCENT. Tsaid Hoved, You thought 1 would forget ‘When time had intervened and I had met ‘Some other maid who would much kinder be. How strange is fancy! Why, the very smite With which you put me off did but beguile: Tloved the more, and who could censure me? In those young days I felt and said that naught Could work a change. You filled my every thought Your smiles awoke my hopes—your (rowns my fears. Am I the same? Well, hard! Tater loved another. Can't you guess? Ves. I've been married nearly twenty years! aw DISCOUNTING THE FUTURE. Master Tommy had been naughty, and his mother, who believed in moral suasion, said to him: “If you are naughty you will vex mamma: then she will fall ill and will die, and you will be taken to the cemetery. Master Tommy at once became serious; and after being immersed in reflection a few seconds a smile of joyful antici- pation beamed on his angelic countenance, ‘Throwing his arms around his mother's neck, he exclaimed : “Oh, mamma! can’t I sit alongside the coachman ?” MAKING THE BEST OF IT. Jones was praising his wife to one of his friend “Lknow that Jane is not beautiful, but 1 hay plain looks.” @ “ How so? come to forget her see, Jane ‘sa very clever woman, Jane is. habit of entertaining half a dozen fer uglier than herself. POSTHUMOUS INFORMATION. ary, have yez heerd air a woord frim Duce! She's in the ale friends who are fifty per cent. since he letther rached me. * Phwat did he say 2" 5 Cleary—" He's bin dead this twelvemonth comin’ July, an’ divil the sow! wus wid him that knew him at all at all.” Me. Beevoune (appearing suddenly)" V've no objections to letting you Jive off my shoulders, Ethel; but these long conversations, while you are getting ready, weary mea comicbooks.com