Judge — June 16, 1888 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Fa{ Battery =LearK |< NOW AND THEN. Orrickx Keitey—"* Slatner me av Oi doan’ give thot bhlack Oyetatian wan rap Cr les It’s immigration that's runcin’ thish land.” FROM OUR LITTLE A MILD INTEREST. A FEW PHIL. He (at the Boston ball grounds)—" Are you interested in base-ball, Miss Penelope ?” She— Only mildly so.” He— Isn't that Kelly at the bai She—* Ves, and he has made a hit (excited )\—Oh, watch how beautifully he picks up his feet, and he is sliding for second (shouténg)—Good boy, Kelly!” THIS WORLD GOOD ENOUGH ‘The Sunday-school class was singing “1 want to be an angel.” “Why don’t you sing louder, Bobby ?” asked the teacher. “I'm singing as loud as I want to be an angel,” explained Bobby. NO REDUCTION ALLOWED, Boston girl (in dry-goods store) —" 1 am afraid, sir, that this tulle is a trifle too diaphanous.” Clerk—"\ am very sorry, miss, but we have but one price.”” RELIGIOUS ENTHUSIASM. “You are looking bright and happy, this morning, Flossie,” said. the Sunday-school teacher, as the little girl came in her f ligious enthusiasm.“ Do you love to come to Sunday-school 2” “Yes, ma‘ayn,” replied Flossi mamma says when I get bi have a bustle.” ¢ all aglow with re- HE SHOULD HAVE STOOD STILL. Magistrate (to plaintiff, with lump on his head)—" If your wife threw a sad- iron at you why didn’t you dodge?" Plaintiff —"\ did, your bonor, and s how I come to get hit BOYISH JOYS. Soon the youth will dig for worms: And as his wormship writhes and squirms, He will jab him on a hook, Hie unto the busy brook “There to catch the speckled trout ?* Not much. Watch the day’s sport out, And you'll find him rather miffish, Plus one catfish, and neck stiffish A WOMAD REASON. On the richly-carpeted floor of the Ila soft, mellow light was shining, but n the parlor it was so dark that nothing could be seen. But if a person had been hidden in the folds of the rich draperi might have heard the tender, loving voices of Eleanor von Guinness and Felix de St. Paul, who were sitting in the farthest cor- ner of the room in the tight embrace of tirst affection. Darling,” he was saying, October is so far away that it will never, Let us be married in July ‘ough the hot sun pour down and the never come. mn last week, sir. [am glad to see Boson (a hale and hearty NO WONDER HE WAS SURPRISED. 2 has iltness in his family) Davecter (loguaciowsly)—" You look much better than when you were here Officer Kelley's appearance in America in 1840, on a trunk air be full of dust.” “Nay, nay,” she replied firmly, “that can never be. [ cannot be married in July. My dress is just lovely and I do not propose to wed ata time when, in order to travel in comfort, I would have to cover it up with a linen duster. In the fall, Felix—in the fall.” OLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE. all yo" cawn green an’ lack hoe One room sel’om contains song an’ sorrow. We ruddah suffah wid de dyspepsy dan go widout eatin’. De han’some wench war sho’ ob a husban’ de day she war bo'n, De po’ man dat keeps a dog fo" fun mus’ buy his po’k by de poun’. Ebery man dat libs ‘ones'ly an’ am good toe de po’ am a preachah ‘Case a coopah made de bar'l ain't no sign he kin tell wat's in de bs Yo" can't make yo" dog wag ‘is tail fo" joy by gibbin’ yo" nabah’s dog a bone. W'en de dog er yot Pompey by de trousahs, Pompey ull yell fo" he’p eben fom de man w'ose chickens he wah Some men mus’ be brightah an’ sn we do in July ef ebery stal war ez hot tah en oddahs, ob co'se. Wat ud a’ shiny cz de sun? Small thieves ull be wid us ez long ez men am hungry; an’ big thieves ez long ez de wol’ inks de smahtes’ man am de one dat gits de mos’ propahty. Joss Watt IT DIDN’T WORK. “Tis said that blessed is the man, Or be he rich or poor, Who maketh grow two blades of grass Where one hath grown before But poor Walt Whitman, w To bring this he tried to pass. And fertilized it from the marsh— Men cursed his " Blades of Grass. MAN. A BASHFUL mer, you have heard what the complainant has had to. say duced you to steal six oranges from the stand of this poor old woman 2” “How could T buy them when | didn’t know the price?" “You might have asked.” “But. your honor, I al timid ys was very bout speaking to women.” TRYING TO THE NERVES. * Who was that young lady in blac “A friend of mine. Poorthing! She buried her third husband last week, and her nerves are quite shattered. 1 she will not live to part with a fourth, * She looks very lived three husband ; “Oh, they're not dead. She's from Chicago,” bung to have out “ Please renew this prescripty comicbooks.com