Judge — June 16, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 153 THE UNPARDONABLE CRIME. St. Peter (to head waiter, just ready to enter paradisey—" Hold! Did you ever wait on anybody A> TRYST. [Alone she waits for me. On, heart he stil! aiid egies “ awh ia tes oes aiter (in shame and deep contrition) Only o—once, when all ‘And then the hill, y employees were on a strike.” And then, her eyes, soft St. 2 (scornfully)—* You will have to yo with the porter who said * Thank charm ou te cent fee. We cannot forgive such flag violations o! ity cvenstitace you" for a ten cent fee. We cannot forgive such flagrant violations of With welcome glad and warm y: And chiding sweet. “ But I killed the man the next time I met him by concentrating and my diamond on his countenance.” Tis well. You are forgiven. You shall enter in with the three Across the sunny road * i ; sles aidens abreast who never so far forgot themselves as to turn out for an Lotar windows tie maidens abreast who never forgot the re to turn out any ‘The birds sing overhead — known mortal. The breeze goes by Laden with clover-breath— HIS NIGHT-CAPS. With summer dreams! so SS Sweet heart, how far and far First Kentucky “What kind of night-caps does your husband The distance seems ! use, Mrs, Vivant ? Second Kentucky Bourbon trimmed with real sugar, Mrs, Ransom,” T mount the bill at last ; There in the shade Near where the cross-roads meet DOUBLE-EDGED, ‘Our tryst was made. Von Beatt—" By Jove, old fellow, but I'm glad to see you! I'm dead I see her robe of white, niaohefohet broke, and thought you would lend me a tenner for a day or tw ‘Nose die watts foe tac, Van Speekplane— Well, yes, | would, but 1 can’t afford to.” My own true love Do you mean to insinuate that you think | couldn't return it?” a. one .—" Oh, not at all, You could, but you wouldn't.” HOW THE NATIONAL GAME AFFECTS HER. Baravicee Brac, 1888, My dear Little Diamond :— Am [ having a good time? you ask. Well, I'll give you my campaign from my score- book and let you be umpire. I coaxed pa to come so L could get my first innings at society’s bat here, for ‘tis here the choicest “hits” do congregate. We got our position at centre-field in a swell little Queen Anne, and to judge from my present fielding my score will be the leader. | pitched my first ball high, when I found the duke of Wiles was signed for catcher 1 made three base-hits on rides with him before the other girls nd made two home-runs in one week by coaxing him up to the cottage for a and s. Then I made the grand double-play of the season; Oldgold came to time sooner than Td expected, and as | was more than half afraid the duke would play foul if a richer girl took her innings, | played ‘em both. ‘Thus, you see, I got the ec/af attendant on the duke’s name and the fun out of Oldgold’s attentions—he never spares money when he’s on deck, you know, nor misses batting a ball that can hit a good time. 1 made two or three -vild pitches between the two, and came near losing first-base by taking an out with Mr, Dudling one day; but I managed to score my points at the hop that evening with both. 1 stole a base on Fan Slowleigh by batting for her old poke of a lover's favor in his inal play” of * Modest Maidens.” I slugged so well in m rt as leading lady that f astonished myself, and as acting’s the next best thing to flirting, I enjoyed Fan's , glances immensely. //e thinks I'm a regular sky-scraper for high-toned sentiments, UNCLE'S INITIATION. ‘1! I popped a fly to him one day, quoting from Shakespeare ; but he sent a corker |. larrur Brunt Oh. Uncle John | Freddy's made the nicest game you tw centre with some lines from Horace Somebody, and I know | muffed, trying to look as that way, and we'll show you how to play it.” if 1 understood them, I expect to get in some scattering hits next week on a batch of fly yachtsmen, and if | don’t fumble I shall down at least three of them that gave signs of being badly hit last year. But there's the dinner-bell! I must slide to plate. Will send you another score-card soon, Till then, s Yours for the pennant, MADCAP WILDE. THE PATERNAL VIEW OF IT. * What a beautiful child! exclaimed Miss De Gush, As she gazed at the bundle of clothes : “And you—happy father~ think it's the one Finest baby on earth, | suppose.”* Well, yes,” replied dad, as he thought of the nights He had walked the cold floor in distress, “ Treally must say, my dear Miss De Gush, I regard st a howling success."” LENA G. RROWN, a. The hungry man doesn’t spend much time THE BRIDGE OF SIZE. reading the bill-of-fare. comicbooks.com