Judge — June 16, 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE love thee, 4 adore thee. prostrate be before thee— My shrine; Could thy slave be ough eternity— 1 Ts such adoration A crime? 1 would follow thee Ment faithfully ‘Across life's sands (or west); Td barter a throne To call thee my own But you haven't a family CHAS. Me JOHNSON. QUITE THE PROPER THING. Wes, Duntey—* Out of nine children the only one now living is Cousin Kate Mr. Dumley—" Cousin Kate, the dressmaker?" Urs, Dumley— Nes.” Mr, Dumley—* Well, that's all right. Survival of the fitist, you know.” ILLUSTRATION OF A PROVERB. s often spurred men on to struggle nobly with adver- CAL it that h asked his mother. sity, * Necessity.” promptly replied Harry : “because it is the mother of invention,” “Good boy. [see you remember what you are told.” Ata later period of the day, Harry, having been detected in a falsehood, was affrighted by looming visions of a chastening slipper, when his good in came to his aid and he urged this plea tell that story, ma.” “What do you mean ?” said his mother severely. “Cause necessity is the mother of invention,” he sponded tearfully. The slipper was postponed. was what made n HE GOT A HORS “A horse! King Richard cried But no horse met his sight. He donned a female garb; his head He covered with a wig of red, And in a trice, lo! at his side Appeared a a horse! ne of white! “ THRICE T IS HE WHOSE NAME H , WELL SPELT.” (to literary character ) How delightful it must be to have an u It must be a matter of deep satisfaction to k one’s patronymic is both distinguishe akable + Literary character (recently printed as Ed) Novy Mrs, Ednarisjeance ! name! pw that Jancy, with pensive sadness)—" Well, | don’t: know he Seems to yorr. My only reason for refusing Miss Smith was that there would have been two of us for the typos to whack at. Do you know I have wondered why your national leap. year customs were not clastic enough to admit of the ge man’s taking Aer name?” SECTIONAL BITTERNESS. “Couldn't you help a poor fellow,” said the tramp, “who has lost his last dollar simply through sectional animosit ~ [will be glad tog" replied Bagley. “if you will only tell me your sad story “I invested in lots in a Kansas town that would been the new Chicago of the west if those infernal peopl ansas City hadn't ruined it. ley’s eye glared stonily. “Fool away; “/ am from Kansas City HE MISUNDERSTOOD. n't | put you in some trees, Mr. Lafitte? We he gurgled, as he stalked Nursery agent—C have some excellent d New houscholder— fruit on my place.” pears.” n't sell me any. 1 don’t want any hump-backed When I smoke my wife in anger gets, And the more I fume the more she frets NO PARLEZ-VOUSING THER Waiter (in Chicago restaurant) —"How d' yel Robley (of New York)—""Aw—underdone, ple: Waiter —* We don’t do no French cookin’ here, mister. are jest got up rare, middlin’, an’ well-done. Which ‘ll ye have?” cooked, mist Our ste UP TO SNUFF. Curesesas | FERESEMS (simultaneously) Hello! Buggins, heow air ye?” Currsestay |, GREESEMSS | (a moment later, in a whisper) * Bunco, begosh !* comicbooks.com