Judge — June 2, 1888 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THIEVING FOX who had grown fat off the proceeds of his crookedness was one day summoned before his King, the Lion. “Tam convinced that there is a ring of you,” said the Lion, “and I am determined to root you out. Through the Fox's testimony several of his confederates were convicted and punish- 4 ed, and at last his own turn came, “O, King !” he said, “ your own august lips have said that no one should speak to criminate himself, and that the testimony I have given could not be used against me The Lion paused in deep thought.“ My merciful words,” he said, “were not spoken for the benefit of such as you. But go in peace. My word is sacred,” Law is not always justice. WASN’T BOTHERE Wife—" What worries you to-night, dear? You seem nervous.” Husband—* Oh, nothing. 1 guess it will pass off.” Wife—" Does your business prey upon your mind Husband— Ves, indeed. 1 can't for the life of me figure out whether New Yorks will win to-morrow: or not.” BY BUSINESS, CLEVELAND. After one term he'd go one better— Seek nomination No. 2; Were a nomination like a letter Perhaps his frank could put t through. A SAVAGE ENQUIRY. Carnixctox (trying to make an impression on Mrs, Lectern)—"T gave up smoking a long, time ago, It’s not only a bad habit, but an expensive one.” Mas. Lecraxs (making a discovery)—" Why don't you take part of the money you've saved ‘1 tobacco and have your pocket mended, Mr, Carrington?” 123 OLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE. Patience am de lazy man’s stock in trade. ‘A quar'lsome man shudn’ grum'e at scars. A lie am de same wudder yo" speak er act hit. Death Dar a’n’t no sich Ving ez bein’ bawn foolish an’ gittin’ obah hit. ows many hypocrites dat nebbah wah ‘spected befo’, Ef yo" borrer'd a hoe las’ summa yo’ is all right; but ef yo" lent one, wha’ is hit ? De po'er de title ob a man toe groun’ de stoutah de fence he puts roun’ hit. Ef coats, es's made a man, we might ‘spec’ wondahs fom wax De man w'at has little money, an’ dat seldom, laiks toe chink hit so dat oddahs may heab. De apple dat yo’ pick offen yo" own tree tas’es bettah en’ de orange dat comes a-many mil Some say dat dis‘onesty an’ deceit berlong toe man alone; but de cat steals yo" meat w'en she knows bettah, de mule kicks yo" w'en er no picture ob schemin’ villainy an’ suf at speaks out laik de ‘sperunce ob de spidah Jo A WALDRON, TOO FULL FOR UTTERANCE. At a lecture by the celebrated B. “ How full he is of his subject,” remarked a listener. “ True,” was the criti m of another ; “but how slow he is in emptying himself.” HIS NEW REMEDY. Maceixtry—"' It's a phorous phlaster th’ docther phrescrobe £ me, Katie shame t' shpoil me new coat wid it, so Oi comphrimised be puttin’ it an me vist.”* QUITE ANOTHER MATTER. Two friends meet after a long interval + By the way, you know that poor C. is dead? “Good:heavens! You don’t say so. How shocking!" “Why, you are behind the lighthouse; he left us over six months ago.” “Six months! Oh! that alters NO LONGER IN SIGHT. ‘There was a vain man named Badeau, And to humbug the Grants he did geau; Bat they heard of his game And they laughed at his claim, And now he's forgotten, you kneau, “THE CHILD IS FATHER OF THE EDITOR.” H. U, Merist—"V'm very sorry indeed, sir, that you have hurt your thumb. I'll never pin my paragraphs together that way agai K. R. Ittic—" Don't fret about it—there’s no harm done. boy I often had my fingers pricked by a chestnut-burr.” When a mere A SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING. “Hi, waiter! Is this dish of roast chicken for two persons or one?” “Nein!” Nine! Good Lord, it's too much for one, but I'd like to see nine peo- ple make a meal of it!” comicbooks.com