Judge — May 26, 1888 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. President - - WJ Anwet Art Department + Brenan Editor = =~ + 1M. Grecoxy TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. One copy, one year, of s2 numbers, $4.00 One copy, six months, of 26 numbers, |. ten One copy, for i weeks, te Single copies, 1o cents each FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS. reign countries in the postal union, $3 a year. Tue Jupce Pustisninc Company (Porrex Buipinc), Park Row, New York. To alt, CPT We guarantee advertisers a American satirical paper published. The Juvce is for sale at Brentano's, 17 Avenue de L’Opera, Paris reer circulation at cheaper rates than any other T° MR. INGAL Voorhees. S—Never apologize that apology ai cee F REPUBLICANS do not work together this year it will be because each man has a boil on his arm. HE MAN who in dying wins a eulogy from Robert Ingersoll has won as well a considerable victory over death, eee O MANY thin men participated in the late go-as-you-please that each might have been called a walking match. HERE IS MYSTERY in the Scofield-Hatch case; but if the gentleman might return for the purpose of expressing an opinion he would say nothing at all about i OVERNOR HILL needn't declare that he is a Democrat. His veto of the Crosby bill is proof enough of that. ervia— BY A PASSENGER on the § * Take that boat and, though it may be alittle late occasionally, it'll Servia right.” eee ILL TO CLEVELAND—*I love you, noble sir; but if you don’t stop spanking me I shall presently have to desert you.” D& THE ULTRA temperance men think they can afford to give aid and comfort to the Democratic party of this state this year? eee BETWEEN the Democratic protec- tionists, the Democratic free-traders, and the Democratic nonentities, Mr. Cleveland's friends think it would be a good idea to discuss the great propo- sition as to the quality and price of putty. TEMPERANCE VOTE outside of the Republican party this year will be a vote for the I-am-a-Democrat ticket, and that will be the rankest of all treason, wid a bead an it befoor ! WEALTHY MAN who was recently cremated had provided in his will that his funeral should cost less than $100. and set such a good posthumous example, that he ought not to have died at all. one one That man was so wise LE POINT—They never got Jacob Sharp in prison, though he stole millions, They railroaded a poor little thief to Sing Sing within twelve hours, though his stealings amounted to the wine that Jacob Sharp would have furnished a small gathering of his friends at a comfort- able dinner. SELF-PROTECTION THE FIRST LAW. HERE is no sophistry, no cajolery that will delude, no drapery to cover the purpose of a free-trade policy by the Democratic party. In the north, and more markedly outside the large cities, the reading and thinking portion of that party have a nebulous faith in industrial protection. “The Democratic majority, however, of these populous places shows plainly and beyond disper- ive arithmetic that that portion of the political organization is a meagre minority. It is not the working man that is called to its councils. terest that is so specially sought. It is simply his vote. It is not his in- The Democracy is A FREAK OF NATURE. Hoan (at the Aark)—" Oi'll ate me hat ay Oi iver seen an illipant’s thrunk like a coral reef of the Pacific sea. The pulpy polyp that builds it makes soil for all the political palms that cover it and suck their s from its softness. The leaders and expounders of the free-trade sentiment resen mon’s lilies—* They toil not, neither do they spin.” Journalists, “Georges,” professors, lawyers, and schoolmen who weave theoretical cob, webs are the drum-majors of the Democratic band. The plodding procession behind keeps step to the brassian music, and is absolutely ignorant of the rovte it is treading, or the end, ; When the demagogue with swaying arms and delusive speech denounces American manufacturers as growing rich out of the needs of the people, if were true—which it is not—would he prefer that foreign manufacturers should prosper entirely at our cost? Are only our manufacturing prosperities to be denounced and riches justified if made on the other side? Has E grown wealthy from the sale of products of the soil? Manchester, Sheffield, and Dundee have manufacturing magnates richer than any ranchmen on this continent. The vast fortunes owned in the British isles were gathered from its mines, furnaces, and factories, and not from its farms. Are they likely now, and of a sudden, to work without interest or pay? If they have not divided their squeezed wealth with their own poor, is it supposable they will with ours? It is a patent fact that any profitable enterprise generates its competition and levels to a moderate point the resultant compensation, American makers of Bessemer’s steel rails brought the English price of $165 down to the price to-day of $32 per ton, If England had monopolized the market it would also have monopolized the price. Tin, which is almost wholly at present an English product, under English control, gives mag- nificent revenues to the fortunate members of its aristocracy, and levies a luxuriant tribute on millions of American roofs. None of the “my lords” of the tin mines have proffered to pare their pounds down to shillings to help our laboring poor. The recently discovered tin mines of Dakota, if moderately protected into de- velopment, will correct the price of tin as our steel mills reduced the price of English Bessemer rails. It must be understood that cratic supremacy means the sible approach to free trade. hypocritical mask, worn thin, has at last fallen off. Free trade means transfer of manufacturing profit and emy other lands, or a leveling to lower wages than this, If free-trade England is men- aced by swarms of unemployed; if Ger- many shivers on the edge of socialistic convulsion, overawed only by police, of repressed by military force, we should be heedful where the people rise and the masses rule, Is it not possible that enforced, and possibly unbridled, poverty may shake brand? Has the country forgotten the pillage and conflagration at Pittsburg? Is not free trade as likely here as else- where to generate uneasiness, distrust and anarchy, and will not the transfer of employment from American to European labor be the first round in the ladder to license ? Demo- nearest pos- The old and pyment to its rags into a fire- INCE THE UNION was saved the Democratic party has declared for union and harmony without very much of a mental reservation eee GROVER WAS very anxious that David should stay at_home care of those legislative enactments. That is why David dids St. Louis. to take go to SOMEBoby says church in New York. The preference would seem to indicate ficiency of light-headedness already. JOHN SHERMAN will get within reaching distance, and there is a good he would rather be a lamp-post in Boston th deal of satisfation in that. Indeed, he will be so happy that he will throw up his hat for Blaine along with the rest of the boys. SAINT PAUL said that it was the duty of women to keep silence, oF it other words that it was the main purpose of a life-giving stream t0 cease its rippling and bubbling and dry up. Saint Paul died many years ago. but there are as narrow minds to-day as that on which he expended such in- sufferable meanness and egotism. comicbooks.com