Judge — May 19, 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE RHYME OF THE DOGLET, DK Two lovers lingering on a stooplet, ae RY GubDe For love was yo ‘They had partaken Ax lovers will while they are twain, wre busy on the schemelet nd how to inect ai one hack yardlet I love, and, alack, bardlet wt relate this tale of woe! The youth went bounding, like @ goatlet, With yell and shriek he outward «ped, The dog returned. A piece of coatlet Hung from hia mouth, Love's dream was dead. MADELINE & BRIDOES. A NINETEENTH CENTURY IMPROVEMENT. At the Paradise terrestrial telephone. President census bureau—** Hello, there!” ‘A DOWN EAST INVENTION. That's wa ‘ New Your xn" You fellows have got the bu What's wanted? Yorkers in tof hatty anyway. Did that st prages don't come out even. Send down two little angels, dd, and be quick about i you take off their wings see that you don't forget to clothe them with something be modesty. Pope Anthony’s last bull declared that was too thin to wear in this climate.” LOGICAL, y fond of the pleasures of the table. y that his beard had turned gray while his hair remained black, sad TWO WAYS OF LOOKING AT IT. Mr, Pooractor—“ Humph! The American theatre is all right as it is, but a society has been formed in Boston ‘ to elevate the stage.” What do you think of that?” Mr. E ighter. -* Mighty good idea, mankind has found after rey attempts t impossible to depress the ladies’ hats, it becomes absolut necessary to ele » the stage.” UNDER DISADVANTAGES. Reporter (interviewing candidate for the presidency) —“Exeus me, sir, but Thave: unquestionably made some mistake. You say that your parents were wealthy and gave you an academic education.” Candidate—* Yes; that is correct.” Reporter—* That you never went barefoot?” Candidate—* Not to my recollection.” Reporter—** And never served your country in the eap: suthi Candidate— No. Reporter (drawing a long breath)—"* You have my best wishes for your success, sir: but you are laboring under a disadvantage. The public is fastidious on these points. I bid you good morning.” OLD CHOCOLATE'S TARGET PRACTICE. A new hat won't stop a headache. Nebbah ask fo’ one apple w'en yo" want two. Dar's many an ass goes toe niahkit dat doan’ tote a load. i crowd an’ de oddalis ah yo" su De place toe set d m where de weazel caught de Yo" know w’en dar er aigs in de cake widout lookin’ fo’ de shells. Ef yo’ wantah bait de bull, be e keep dis si nb de fence. De man dat wucks by de day makes a-many motions dat dean’ count D: no measurin’ foolishness. Some men ud git los’ trabblin’ « straight road, A-nmiany men doan’ know ‘nutf toe git away fom a henroos’ w'en dey heah de dog-bahk. W'en yo" bacon am gone, de man dat would len’ yo" can’t an’ de ma dat could he'p yo’ won't. Yo! er ap’ toe gib de man w’o ‘grees wid yo’ credit fo’ a hund’ed px cent. mo’ wisdom en he'm got. Dar's such a t'ing ez toe much fo’-thought. Ef yo’ stan’ long ‘nuff de station debatin’ wedder yo" ull take dis train er de nex’ oue, bof ob ur ull go an’ leave yo’. comicbooks.com