Judge — April 28, 1888 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. President W. J. Ace Art Department Bensmand Gtttas Pastor 1.3L Greoony TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS— THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (PoTTER BUILDING), Park York. yn countries in the putal union, $a year. 22> We guarantee atver sean satirical paper publisher, ‘The Jewar. ta for sate at Brentann’s 1 Avenue de LQpera, Parie MR. BLAINE So much was said about Me, Blaine hy to settle t n this p were larger circulation at cheaper rates than any Amer NEAT WEER. alttr that th sent an artist to Florence lent picture of the great statesman, and Ast Ht will just at this time be nilition of th dene e question artist secured e latest, and by all odds the oked for, and the man who at all times co cture will be given in the next ise of icture of Mr, Blaine yet hy ay judge with accur portion per erly y the phy Is a lai its attention an ALRCK OF BaTTENBURG, pluck up hope; she being not elope? Minister Pur Good! willing, why rs thinks he ought to be known ambassador.” ambassador to Vermont, for instance. HE RETIREMENT of Adam tof the place he went Badeau is so profound that there is no sign | out of. ioncer, but ns of the cus I aM No au those Republic tom-house are going, going. — Magone. Mr. Puuitzer has so taken the advice of Mr. Dana that every d: the Ist of May seems to him Brotuer Surrarp rides his high horse so well that we suspect him of a rei nection with the sermon on the mount Tue MAN of the salvation army who was recently hang- ed preached his best sermon the seatfold. He said poxl- bye.” on I WOULD LIKE to refuse a second term; but Lam in the hands of my friends, so that I Ma, Sxowontrt (combining soliloquy with haven't the requisite authori- neh) —* "Taint no use fer Pahson Steers t talk ty. That - TL weep, — ter me “bout merackes. D* yaint nosuch phenu Grover Cleveland. menums now "days A SHAKEN is wh Locat patriotisM--When a man succeeds in business all his rivals want to have his property sold to the local government to fill a loag felt public want. MUST BRITANMA RULE THE TARIFF? John Bull— more on your F gotten some credit for putti Sam, don't you know since you have spread out itation, and have put in so many improvements, and down the rumpus of some of your ten- ants who proposed to divide the property and set upa separate ranch of their own, that you are getting a little stiff and airish? A little vain, too, over the smart recuction of your war mortgage, and the consider- able income that you are not using. Unele Sam—* Perhaps. John, does it trouble you?” J. B.— not exactly troubles me; but do you thin m, it is quite neighborly and right for one member of the family to allow him- self to be threatened with this dreadful fatty degeneracy of the pocket without asking advice for its removal? Tl allow you have worked like Satan; see how thin you are, excepting that financial swelling, All that is needed for your solid prosperity is to go into the cheapest market, even if it be a foreign one, as you call it, for your wants.” U. Sam—*' See here, John! You have grown pretty well off in trade and manufacturing. You never were much on farming. because you did not have land enough, or rather let a great lot of it lie waste for shooting and hunting ground. Your Christianity, so sadly help- AGNOSTIC. ful to Hindoostar, and opiumized China, didn't go far enough to let your own poor have any of the spare game. While you preached nicely in the pulpit, you kept up just the same a strong picket iy: inst poaching. When you made your start in life, didn’t you begin by con structing a tariff bigger than any since thought of? Wasn't that the way you coaxed the best carpet-makers from Holland; the finest silk. weavers from France, and started your potteries in Staffordshire with foreign workmen? You found coal and iron not far apart. They natur, ally were reasonably close together, or they wouldn't have been on the island. You struck copper and tin pretty plenty, and made the best of your luc So altogether, with lots of labor, plenty of minerals, and a good stiff protection on your own industries, a desperate sharp taste for trade, ships more plenty than plows, and more dence, a great love for number one, and some pluck, have made you’ prosperous. Barter has made you the world’s banker, and a bat gets all the richer by putting out at interest other folks’ money, and paying little or nothing for the deposit. John, when your hive began to swarm, some of the workers | ing of their own accord, and others pushed out because you made it too hot for them, you tried hard to fix It so that your colonies should gather honey for the old bees. You aven't forgotten our firstditference? Thomas Jefferson wrot letter on the subje the world read it and remembers it. then want us to sail a boat (don't think you do now), make a nail or build a factory, and demanded that from hat to shoe you should do the raking and we the wearing. Furthermore, you tried to padlock our lips from making a protest. No wonder we revolutionized. In about twenty years you started another fuss, because our shipping business owing unpleasant. Fifty years after that you took part in an underhand and coward- ly way in our domestic dis. pute, and tried your best to break up the family. I don't taunt you of this; don't care about it now anyway; men- tion it only just to show that it kind 0° modifies any great appreciation of the sincerity of your advice. You see, if you drive a nail in a piece of timber, no matter if it is pull- ed out again, the hole is still left. I don't know that I blame you for wanting to do the mostof the trading. [tis ier to stand behind the counter, and more profitable than walking in the furrow, It is all right, your preferring to run the factory and the fur- nace rather than the farm, You have been a pretty suc- cessful banker, and probably can't resista hankering desire forour surplus. Of course it isa temptation, you never hav- ing had any surplus of your That which bothers me most is that some of our any one should Hopen, “But 1 confesses dat whar dat yer straw one kims kind’r nigh bein’ one!™* in plenty and close by; that New York and Kentucky editors, a lot of lawyers or Texan ranchmen or plantation overseers, a few pulpit men or college professors, or a graduate in Buffalo polities, all of whom know little or nothing of practical affairs, should be duped by your Jesuitical adroitness to follow your counsels. Let me read you this letter, just received from cne of your own workmen. It tells its own story and needs no comment: Loxnox, EXGLAXD, 188 Waterloo road, Marc Dear sir—Thanks for the papers you have sent me. Twas in America for abet to months last summer, sent over by our association to ser for myself whether ¢ Clases of your country were better off under protection than we are under free tra the conelision Teame to was this: That any person who has to earn his living In America as a producer crazy before he becomes a {tee (rater, abd the farmners thust be the craziest of U to think of such a thing. Before any of your working men (either engaged In 1 ing or agriculture) talk about free trade fet thern send one of their number ov whatit doing for this country. Let him walk about for six months look: Until his coat gets raged and his shoes get tin, at he gets thinnest of all, an be asks for work he will be told that the Germans and the Belgians are cheaper than then let them send for him bome agaiti, and bear «ha about free tra that is causing the trouble, wend it to some for trae oats jo have a surplus. Or, Hf yon dont like to do that, take if out (sink it, or tutry itor burn itor do angthing, in fact, rather than alley {ee {you do not want foreign competition to ruin your manufacturing industries, aad by s0 dolng ruin your farmers by robbing them of their home market Yours truly. H. J, Porriven (Electro-plate worker ‘Secretary Workman's association for detence of British industry. enn Latte GILtic’s EXcHANGE—From America to Europe. comicbooks.com