Judge — April 14, 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE It fell to earth, I knew not wher For who with a tack in his Can follow a baby in its flight? 1 breathed a swearword into the air, My wif For who that 1 a tac! Has tried to keep a swearword hack? stepped on teare: A minute afterward, in They wrapped the bal brok And the xwearword, from begin- ning te Was told loak still un wife's most inti- MARTHA M. SCHPLTZE A customer was buyii z “Are they strong and durable? while you're trying put them on, will they? “Strong? [should say so. Why, when that young feller across the y wanted to hang himself last week he came and bought one of these eravats, And they lad a tot job cutting him down, T can tell you.” “they won't pull apart How much the birds ¢ Those pets of St. Cecilia ! For who with higher branches Than they are more familiar? A REPROOF. Mus, MeLiay (pointedty\—"$ Mn. Caesty—" What's th Dias. MeLuy—" Be gor av yet Wor wan you'd not let thot leddy shtand an’ you sit! ro it wud be refrishin’ 1 see a gintleman wanst in a pile!” REMEMBRANCE AND HOPE. A definition of happiness. In the diction: s happiness is put down as a substantive, but nice of life it is av be conjugated: past re; future—hope. It has no present.” REGULAR LIVES. First tramp—" Talk about our irreg'ler lives! who's well off dat drives us to it.” ; couldn't get no grub from de farmer's ill I sawed wood an hour.” First tramp— erdodat. It's bad to work before orarter eatin’, Second tramp—"1T know it; and “twar arter my reg’ler lunch: It's dese blokes Tm jist done up wid dispep “THE RULING PASSION STRONG IN DEATH.” Late New Yorker (as St. Peter extends the hary dd crown)—"“Oh, nice; but say, what are your rapid-transit And what dors ‘derivation’ mean, dear?” PORKER'S PRESENT. Porker—“1 want to get my wife a birthday present, Mr. Cameo, and she kinder hinted to me that she would li ire ring.” Mr. Cameo—" Well, siv, here are some fine Porker—* Oh, 1 don't like them things with only one stone; haven't you got some solitaires in clusters?” ‘ THINGS MATERIAL PRCTERRED. Mrs. Frankincense (New York)—** And how did y r Boston visit?” i — Oh, immensely. I as awfully disappointed though. I did so want to hear Phillips Brooks, but you see we were there only t of Sunday and we couldn't go to Trinity and shore dinner at Taft's both, you know. get TIT FOR TAT. Aconversation between a handsome mother and a clever daughter. “What would you not give, my dear child, to have my beauty?” “And what we to have my youth?” THE AUTHORSHIP OF ANONYMOUS LETTERS. The latest scandal was being discussed at the club. “y 1d you not give, darling mamma, s." remarked someone, ‘tone must learn to despise anonymous letters.” “That depends.” sa they come from.” added Jones, ‘on whom comicbooks.com