Judge — March 31, 1888 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Auer Bensnann + LM. Gar TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. countries in the pr FUREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS~ THE JUDGE PUBLISHING ComPANy (Porte! Park Row, New York, 8 We guarantee alverticers a larger eireulation at cheaper rates than any Amer fean satirical paper published The Seva. is for mite at Brentans enue ite LeOpera, Paria Ir SEEMS ODD, but when a man is worth a million or so his crimes outlaw in about six months. - To Dk. Morcax Dix—Where under heaven, my son, have you been spending your spare time? altogether gone, for, behold you! other spec Tuk reriop of blizzards is the Kansas senator threat ON THE IsTof April you want to read all the De newspapers. They fill th WE HAVE seen an apparently orphan: emper floating around, but Abram lost his. ed Hewitt says he ne Tuk Luck of the Goulds is as meas- as their mon prily to hath much shall be given VE the ezar, notwith- his peril, will give up his crown. He wouldn't do it even tooblige a friend. Ixciriexcy ovGuT to crack its shell ; but it should save tite pieces awl back and paste up the KNOW what Adam's last name was. It was Badeau, He was for atime the only man, and yet he was not happy. We are grieved to learn that Nin Van Zandt will not go on the stage use that will be so serious for Nina n Zandt Now be Hav day, Mr. Cleveland on the wheels of tine on ants to put av Mn. Prssoxs—" Say, but they go right wit in’ de repobt dat Tw de sbuckin’ las’ nanght Mise MR. Peasoss—" Miss Towns Mr. Pew agin de ole man’s e‘aracte «dl never tire. Witt a Fi $10,000 a year dares to make mean meals, and his family ranted a happiness whiel s about his re therefore war- rely comes to other domestic establishments. A NEW BOY-PREACHER in Indiana is only eleven ye He must be a very persuasive discourser, asonable to suppose that Boulanger in his fight with the French government will have to become the government in order to Rosco clared un ING was so put out by the blizzard that he has de- able and never-ending enmity to the weather of the Why, by Jove!” says Mr. Conkling, “it had the y to oppose even me.” But the June breezes will presently blow, and the coaxing gentleness of the month thereof may make even him good-natured THE DEMOCRATIC TRUST. THE new political trust at Washington is learning the lesson of combin: experienc The business nd Senator Paine shows them well ion and nutrition with wonderful aptness of Secretary Whitney STRAIGHTENING THINGS OUT. * acted like y Standard oil on thi veratic ship, which has been without The pipeline system of polities, subterranean and successful in avoring to bar a competitive Randall well from spout tective petroleum on the market, was to be expected from suel and wary organizers. The post-office trust through its hundred thousand stations is a popular but only farcical wink of disapproval by the manager worked with such a supply of political certificates is expected to warrant an imme n need appl. how to throw politic breakers that menace the De ptain or pilot sinew 1scy, HY pro ewd vith to be Ss Will Warrant of se Democratic dividend. N epub. Only the tank line, now occupying the r mul, will be allowed an; Every faci | be extended to the bureau of informati: the distribution of Democratic salvation tracts by the * Conselidated Importers’ anti-American trust.” English sermons on free tre hymns by various members of the Cobden club are expected to und save the American men to the purer helpfulness ud a proper sacrifice of the sinful luxury of superabur and, too, comfortable homes. These free-trade missic driven from the English colonies of Can: a y highest of tariffs protect their domesti ndustries ag: ression, expect a more hopefal harvest from our softe L-revenue system, which would giv state the collection by the stat taxes now gathered by the poe ernment, and in this way cancel the en barrassing surplus and also lighten the local load every farm, will not do, This fron th Democratic stand-point would require th retention of government needs, the protection of American indust This would break up the great rev col- lector trust,” with its thousands of politi “al stock-holders, and destroy the de. bauching chance of the twelve million dollars expended to compensate the ap. pointees, Then, there is the navy- use trust, tl nd-ha ies and ve ust British soil to each, of the at bears on every house and ue und trust, and the custom public building trust, the river provement trust, with pe lions in it. The proposed sy: ‘bor im male litical sug: ‘the gc of telegraph in ecmpact a deficit of two millions y with continental lines and of service, twenty million dollars would be a scant estimate of its extra cost. As less than two out of every lundred of our people use the telegraph, tl would have to pay for the accom tion of the two. As a Democratic ure it would add a hundred th political operatives under autoc trol to the present army of officials, sub- ject busines al information and all privat ntly espi of the. nnd ereate No and creates rly. Her ninety "r undabstan’ yo's nce ob apple-jacker at * wuz a crazy loon'tic.” T knowed yo" wouldn’ say nuffin® overnment sans. scheme heretofore projected kas had its parallel. The civil-service trust is hardly worth the mentioning. doned by the president to. the ams, Dickinsons, and Mury scant and shivering friends stand around and make believe a warming at its painted fires. Notwithstanding his own early denunciation of bi purpose, the hopefulress of the president to be his own suc makes “ publie a very private trust, With a touch of his sm bitious wand he subordinates principle to power; shrivels a pom pously paraded conscience to the littleness of a love for office. 3, « Aban ys. its fencing; otherwise he will present! ing of those of his friends. A CONTEMPORARY of Democratic symptoms is alarmed over Mr. Blaine’s soe: ickness. There prevails, however, only the Demo. cratic epidemic, and James doesn’t take that kind. comicbooks.com