Judge — March 31, 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

10 UNAPPRECIATED COURTESY. Deaf old woman (f Erin, r, to passen “Is this MeNulty's corn Passenger—" Yes.” Old woman (louder)—""Is this MeNulty’s corner?” Passenger (louder) — “Yes, it is.” Old woman (at top of her voice) —** Ix this McNulty's corne Chorus from passen gers—* Yes, it ix!” Old woman (indignant ly to first passenger) —"* Phy didn’t yer say so before? Yer no gintleman!” NONE OF THEM ON HAND, Mrs. Sac Riche (in fur store, to salesman) — "1 want to look at a pair of fure nalias?” Salesman (doubtfully)— “LT don't think [know what you mean, mad: Mrs. S.R. Ine of my Is has bought a pair of i dl she erualias ote Want a bard ped man (face reddening)—"* We are all out of them today, madam.” MINE. All the wealth of Indies never could compare With the love that little word ex It means that she’s my darling, the fai And L revel in the bliss of her caresses. She's dainty and she’s pretty, she’s willful and she's sweet, And it costs a heap of gold to buy her bonnets: The best imported French boots grace her little feet, And her dresses and her gloves are perfect sonnets, Yes, “mine” is just the word, and it seems to fill the bill, For its situated out in Californ And the metal it is pure—of the girl Tm not so sure, But she's minesand its treasure shall adorn her, THE OTHER DEFICIENCY. Mrs. Skinner—* Isu't your co! ot watert “Thank you, no. It’s quite wet enov Der Alinighdy sees efery' ofer he tolt about it. —Cart P Jacons (whe he de feller vat dakes me avay dis schtepadders, ain'd iY tat atepladder for use in his store) INSIDE THE HOUSE. If Letitia can't practice w GUTSIDE THE \/INDOW. Corst Rapesscuseioen — Py chim! dot ‘s der hartest steel vot effer va UNANSWERABLE. (Scene Ist, country schoo! room.) Young lady teacher Tommy, you had better y. outand your face.” (Se 2d, the room tir: minutes and one-half later. Young lady teacher Tommy. you've washed face pretty well, but y« not wiped it very your forehead is all w Tommy (loudly aggrieved at unappreciated forts) —"* Wiped it as high as my shirt ‘ud reach!” Young lady teacher tention is suddenly den elsewhere. PARADOXICAL, Some men are foolish, and th: tears Their foolish boastings throt u And so, though older grown in years, They have not left the bottle. FUROR SCRIBENDI t putting on the Horrors! Don’tin terrupt this inspiration, Tam” She—" My dear, Tonly wanted to say that you have dipped your pen into the coffe HE GOT IT RIGHT. Pompous old teacher (to class in sacred history)—"* What weapon did Samson use to kill the Philistines?” No one remembers. P.O. T. (who believes in suggesting an swers, touching his chin)—** What is this?” Bright boy (who takes the hintand remem bers it all now)—" The jaw-bone of an uss, sir.” Circus, in which P.O. T. and B. B. are principals THE NATURAL THEOLOGICAL RESULT. He had died in St. Paul, with the weather Stuck fast at forty below: And the guide that took him upwards Found him both stiff and slow. Bat like a flash he answe When Peter, with kind Said,“ For your sorrows 0, give me the hottest pl BAD CASE. The hopeless condition of the boy in Ho- boken who swallowed his mother’s tape m nent physicians to be the only genuine case ofa patient““dying by inches. und it wood been tuff on some fellers THE FATE OF JACOB'S LADDER. 1 bet you T vill eateh Bu dinary appears as its extraor. finest.” Jake dit not go home. comicbooks.com