Judge — March 17, 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGH WHY FLANNELLY FAILED TO PARADE, FI com ANNELLY—* out well this year, John.” Mr, Flannelly It do, Julia, itdo; but av yez'll pit an yure Vimble an Dit av a shtiteh in thot harrp thot do be loose betuxt th’ shamrocks ne: Lottom of th’ fri yen.” Mrs. Troth ! it ** Musha, * behind Well th’ day Oi remim )” Dinny Costigan, th’ Flannelly th’ band, Oi'd sew miles fr yez. ber phin yez foorst aif bought th’ bloody Orangeman, tould yez t' pit it > thot it ‘ud not shpoil an’ lid Vump him thot sem day! Be narchy an’ lineamints av me fer go'n an tree weeks, so zor, his ould ‘ooman jad cess t’ this bation it laves: th’ grav in chrazy wid it Mrs, Flannelly—" Lave me bite it tegither. Thim lasht tath at Quinlan’s role wud chrush pavin’ shtones (e-r-r-unel bother yez no more. Pfwhat's thot aisin’ itsilf doon yure coat? 4 nny, it's youse thot do have th’ soft feelin’s wid a tear as 4 Shure ita a, me bye, but «dl wooman foort- Julie, it’s youse thot do be always bhreakin’ mrt wid yure k-kindness, darlin’. O71 tek fi -weecesnprck f (and the Connelly’s across on the opposite the ature blast), Wid me k doe: likin cout, me galia thot’s not bet be in th’ A HoTTaiteh, an’ me batton wid jist enough rid in it t aff th’ grane thot ghrips th’ haythin color, Saint's loongs tJ Did yez see Phin yez kim in ashe wid yure hide shtuffed wid beer-sandwishes, Oi tuk it all yure led back th’ top wid Shpaldin’s glue, an’ pit it away in Uy’ th’ loft betuxt th’ quilt me mither’s mither knitted wid her own han’s, an’ th’ picthure av th’ pope — (God grant him hivin!) — au’ it’s theyre yit, as a hid yin his hole.” Mr. Flannelly th’ laddher an’ bring it doc in th mane time, wan moo: kiss fer th’ sa th’ day thot's kimmin’.” ash now av pren show be th” Mrs. Flannelly , me man, yearan th’ mor rnin’ av th’ as cosy Policeman Dr know will she wid out stimmilants, fer sieh a clip coli —Oi doan® out av it, sor, she got wud shtop a comet ambulance — st he full when he hit h Sober ~" Was man—* Well, se th’ inquires Oi'm afthe from th’ nebburs—fer divil wur-rud Oi kin git from him, him- rafther findin’ a litther kittins in his Pathriek’ "be gor, wid differen yez kin shoot me av O} wudi’ done th’ seni “sday sor, law, sot CAREFUL OF HIS REPUTATION. Lawyer—"T have applied for a mandamus in your ease.” Client (superintendent of aSun- day-school)—" Don't you think it would sound better to make it a mandarnus?” INES McFAGGATYS WRATH. )—" Mary of Scots wor behedded, hgorra av Oi find the man OLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE. ea bird walks a’n’t no sign hit can't fl A man may w'ar a new coat widout w'arit ew charactab. gam bettah “ ob ginrel knowledge hab got lead cap'en mi connin’ how she ‘ull dress de chicken w'en she kills hit, offen d 1 dies, n dupli stock ob "speruc chi de follies ob dair fodders widout drawin’ on de dat de follies brought intoe de fam’! but ef yo" 'sert dat bite. yo" coteh a fish a foot long, well an’ good ; de fish war ten foot long nobody ‘ull beleeb d De sight man dat stays home beleebs de sun s hit goes out ob De man dat cuts ‘cross lots to git dar fust offen wondahs how dr at went roun’ by de road got dar befo' him. De 3 dat hi books. man oung man wat Uinks he am gittin’ ‘is fan dut cheap ‘ull fin" dun paid de highes' mahket price fo" hit wen he balan 3.4, Watonos CONSOLATORY—AFTER THE FUNERAL. “Poor Robert! But he had a very pleasant funeral.” “Tthought the wasn't. » would be such a crowd There were just enongh people, ne es. And weren't the flowers lovely ?. The rel were not oppressive at the house, but there two many.” es all brought some, y abundant; there were just enough.” And the funeral sei I was afraid it would be jong, but it neither was it too short. The Rev. Mr. K ost happy in his remarks—not too laudatory, yet still not too sea ant with his praise.” vice was exquisite. not, And the widow's mourning was so suitabl Pt it was not too light.” “Yes, und the corpse—was perfect. It was not too And it was most appropriate for the coffin; i! But my deceased brother was always a person to appreciate the fitness of things. I fully realize his en- joyment of the oceasion.” “Oh! You brute!’ jt was not too sem: madame A COLD DAY FOR HIM. Bagley—"“Why on earth are you wearing that fall overcoat’ in this weather, John? Why, the mercury’s below zero!” Gagley (sadly)— Tom—so is my credit. So is my credit, BEFORE THE BILLBOARD. Mrs. Rooney—" Luk, Rooney, luk at awt; she do be atin’ ther dhur- rs wid paint an thins phoi don’t ye ner a skelp wid yer imbrelly? Rooney—"* hair av h wid ther faver, and ther goommy sthutf an thim picters will put a crame on ther milk.” THE BOOT ON THE OTHER LEG. The well-to-docitizenand the tramp- “You should be ashamed to beg stout, healthy fellow like you!” ud you should be ashwmed, dress- ed as you are, to refuse me one poor little quarter. A CORDIAL INVITATION. Friend (to intoxicated individual i grocery store)—"'1 see you're buying some ¢; Intoxicated individual - Have some wish me? My treat.” comicbooks.com