Judge — February 11, 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

10 A SECRET. Mrs, Finnerty (at confession) Me man cudn’t be wid yez this mornin,’ howly bein’ his wake on wid th’ night gang on th’ aceyweduct. He towld me to tell yez 4 like absylution fer bein’ aft suin’ fer a divorche wid Hin an? Howell, th’ ly’ars, on ti? strin’th ave gettin’ pharalyzed full at our little Jimmny’s christ hedid. Yez ain't to tell me anythin’ about it, he says, till th’ poss tus papers is drawed out, so yez aint. Hivin rist yure sow! phin it goes out z, father.” » is an object of wide spread sympathy and charity, for he is always under the haunti picion that he is an old tope "way back. A newspaper man with such a whose carmine hue was a base Ibe on his temperate charac presented himse SULDGL ‘rom inside.) { Hanks. NATURAL AFFECTION. An old French soldier, who had served under the first Napoleon, was asked whether he really loved that ambitious warrior. Love himt Why shouldn't | love him?” replied the indignant vet eran; “didn't [ have two brothers killed at the battle of Leipsic 2” HOW TO ATTAIN LONG LIFE. me asked an old fellow it he should do to arrive sung man, if you follow my adv well, eat well. exercise, and the girls alone.” HIS CONSISTENT COURSE. She—“Before we were married you didn't think seven evenings a week toooften to visit me. can't see why you don’t stay more at home now,” He—“Surely you don't mean to say. dear, that [ stayed much at home then.” cratic meeting town, He wanted to go “Are you a d sergeantatarimis, was the reply. {Have you any credentials?” - . The reporter niutely and signifi pearson.” pped his red, red nose, Minister—" 1 was surprised not to AIL right,” responded the doorkeeper, “that will pass you. Come nd Mrs. Ransom out to chureh to-day: s ansom is very jealous of his reputation, parson, He doesn't want to do anything to make people think he’s a fair-weather Christian.” VERY, VERY CAREFUL. Minister —** Beautiful d: asked the Yes, it is charming. A LIBERAL DONATION. ly who had just had a tooth drawn by a fashionable and conse- high-priced dentist handed him a dollar bill as she was A PERSIAN PROVERB. If you enlist in the army, say a prayer: if you gp to sea, say two n this for the assistant?” suggested the delveramong — but if you get married, say three. the iv “Tt's for you both,” was the cool reply: A MOTHER'S CARES. Little Elsie—* O, take me up, mamma! Its Mamma—* Wal ross, U good girl. Mamma has all she can do to carry poor Fido.” Yo" kin fin’ a'mos’ any ‘scuse in de law ef yo" kin pay fo" de search. Offen wen de chile craves sweets, hit needs bitters. De same apple dat yo" want w’en yo" see hit obah de fence yo" wudu’ pick up ef hit war in de pat. LOOKING AHEAD. Uxcur Revmex (sotiloquizing)—"I can't Jest make up my mind whether t* build « haouse down to Newport or huy thet thar Stewart prop’ty in York. I've got “bout five Tiunder'd thousan’ dollars in confed'rit money, an’ Lamar aint gone onter th' supreme bench fer nothin’ comicbooks.com