Judge — February 4, 1888 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE TIGER TRIM. Asa necessary fixture to the jonable clan he constitutes an inter- esting study; and a cas- ual description of the natty little man will afford a contrast to our dramas bloody. He wears a polished beaver with a cockade top, a diminutive ensigna on each button, a cravat too dearly purchased at a haberdasher’s shop; and he lives on roly-poly and on mutton, With disdain manufactured he will curve his broken lip should Italians grind a snatch from Trovatore. He knows the market value of a blue or yellow chip, when his master's playing at the old, old story. For he has to seek his master and must carry him to bed, if dealers grow too inti- mate and seorning; and he knows just how to wrap delicious flannels on the head and concoct a pleasing mixture in the morning. He can cut the park policeman in the graces of the maids with the sole attrac- tion of upholstered muscle. He loves to intermingle fickle hearts with flighty spades. He loves to watch the bull-dogs in a tussle. He's an over-pradent fondness for a thimbleful of gm, with the merest ¢ of sugar and of lemon; and they say when he's in liquor he grin for any passing figure with a hem on. He will y on a cochin-china’s pluck, and will hide away the girdle. He will choose the fleetest cutter and she'll And he can always pick the winner in a hurdle. 's attentive to his master and he strokes his master’s friends; he’s affable to querulous old ladies. He will quiet nanceuvre, as he hastens to his end, when he'll occupy a feather-bed in Hades. be WITT sTanny, that's | ALS PHOTOGRAPHER. 38. Pass Roms. New Your. DOING A FAVOR. Boiling-over villager—* 1 want to tell you right to your face, Mr. Mustey, that if that black hen comes into my garden again I shall shoot le through her that'll turn her inside out !" Calm neighbor—* Tha’s friend, Tha’s right. She's be'n ege- hound now fer more n’ a week. P'raps it'll help her a leetle.” right, DEAR GIRL. y, dear, do you smoke ?” etly. “Why @” queried Harry in doubt. “Because,” she answered, ** papa has just got a box of cigarsand I know where he keeps them.” she asked PROOF AGAINST THE FLOOD. It was during a freshet in Ol * Aren't you afraid your house will he swept away ?” was asked of a man who lived on the bank of the raging river, “No, there's too big a mortgage oa thehouse,” replied the owner cheer- ally. COMPLIMENTS OF THE PERIOD. “Do you drink 2” asked Smith. ~ Yes,” replied Brown. * So do I,” said Smith. Nobody inks ob trespassin’ twell de fence am put up. GETTING EVEN. Midgely who spent several hundred dollars for theatre tickets last season, without see ing the stage one, on account of the high hat nufsance, adopts a sebeme for revenge this year, He lets his hair grow, and comts it up. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? Commercial tourist (from the west)—"* Well, f got here. Been nthe snow, with the locomotive’s thermometer 22° below . ve me aroom with double windows, extra steam stove with a big fire, and a jug of whisky. And be quick about it, too.” Hotel clerk —** What do you take us for 7” Commercial tourist—** Isn't this sheol—warranted to furnish all things hot and fast 7" Hotel clerk—*' This is Chicago, sir.” ir. Commercial tourist—"* Well, what's the difference, anyhow 7" A SWEET SURPRISE. “Sir,” remarked a benevolent old man, “did you ever win any money on a bet ?” “Tdid, swered Smith, who was addressed. ‘* Why * “ Because I've been looking for an honest man. Every man to nm I have put the question says he What'll you drink 7” A GIVE AWAY. Stranger (to young man consult- ing his watch)—'T see that you are carrying your first gold wateh.” Young man (somewhat surprised) “Er-yes, sir; but how do you know that?” Stranger—" Bec in a chamois-skin case. you carry it MODERN SOCIETY. Nellie (just home from sett, to her bosom friend). fh, Fan! think how delightful it was. One evening: I danced three dances with a Mr. Peters who is said to be the ®ickedest man at the Pier, and all the other girls were so mad. ragan- A SAD OMISSION. Pawnbroker (with his mind on the shop, at the theatre box-office, studying the ticket he has purchased)— ‘I zay, dare vash no tate on dish sheck fur retempshun of de bledg HIS ANNUAL SWEAR.OFF, Mr. Smileoften promised his wife he would never raise a drop of Liquor to his lips oguin, but, though he has not brokea the promise, the whisky gets there just the same. ens in de le’s eggs in comicbooks.com