Judge, 1888-01-21 · page 10 of 16
Judge — January 21, 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical short pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"Easy to Please"** mocks a vagrant's priorities—when offered brandied peaches, he requests only the brandy, exposing his alcoholism. **"A New Vocabulary"** jokes that "abdicate" now means "being bounced by the czar of Russia," referencing Tsar Nicholas II and instability in Russian politics. **"A Gem of Art"** satirizes art auction absurdity: an "Andrew Jackson" painting claimed to be 200+ years old (impossible, since Jackson lived 1767-1845), mocking either the auctioneer's incompetence or buyer gullibility. **"The Gourmand's Ideal"** presents a glutton's fantasy of multiple stomachs for continuous eating and drinking. **"Unimportant"** contrasts news values: an editor considers the Russian emperor granting a constitution less newsworthy than a football game—satirizing American priorities and dismissiveness toward serious political reform. **"Singular"** observes the irony that papers cover celebrity deaths but ignore births. The page uses ethnic slurs ("dago," "coon") typical of the era's casual bigotry.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDG HE EASY TO PLEASE. “How would you like some nice brandied peaches of my own make?” asked a benev- olent old lady of a tramp. “don't want to put you to so much trouble, mum,” replied the hardened vagabond. “You needn't mind the peaches; 9 little of | the brandy will suit me.” A NEW VOCABULARY. “TL see that Prince Ferdinand is thinking of abdicating.” she re- marked, when the con- versation new i it means being bounced by the czar of Russia.” A GEM OF ART. Fi . ‘AT THE HOTEL TsBLE. Auctioneer (selling : 2 Uscir Davro—" Fetch on some soapan’ towels, you yellow dago! (To Ant pictures)—"‘And thisy Harriet.) S'pect that ‘coon thought we hadn't traveled an’ wuz goin’ ter drink ladies and gentlemen, — cut's th’ finger bowls.” is an elegant oil paint- ing by one of the grand old masters. It isa picture of —of—(looking at catalogue)—of Andrew Jackson, and is doubly valuable on account of its antiquity. (Impress Ladies and gentlemen, this picture is over 200 years old. How much am I offered¢” THE GOURMAND'S IDEAL. n't that a little steep: Why, my dear sir, you've seen $100,000 worth well my Tumm, Deep seated at the Hoff “Tis thus I'd go from che) And spend each evening palatizing. Had [the many stomachs of the hi “ “Tis little else than eating, eating, ing IT wou I'd always save one tummy for that predatory munch Which you have with boon companions ‘round the liquor-seller's lunch WALLACE PECK. UNIMPORTANT. Editor—"“We'd bet- ter get out an extra. I've got some great news here.” Proprietor —* What is it?) Have the high kickers won the foot- ball game Editor — ** No, but peror of Russia has given his people a constitution.” Proprietor —* Bah! We couldn't sell an ex- tra on that. Let it wait.” SINGULAR. A wise reflection by Jones: “Doesn't it strike you as rather odd that while the papers are daily commenting on the decease of celebrat- ed men they ne an nounce their birth?” - IDIOMATIC ENGLISH, Hello, Charley? How are your Ob, I'm enjoying very poor health, How are yout Geographical—What _ (The next day.) Crstowun—" Gimme aten-cent drink straight, is the capital of Jay Stcoxo panty without art, please.” Gould? Finst panty —* Well, I'm suffering very good health.” comicbooks.com