Judge — December 24, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“{ Asa misty, hazy legend is the With its snow hair; And—You ask m downy li Tam sure T cannot tell you, you're awa When T was but a THE DIAMOND EDITION’S CHRISTMAS. in't it tough on a feller to go an’ have the mumps. so much good stuff layin’ roun't I jess miss the me, but TI shan't never miss the good time T was jess a un’ open nuthin’ but soup through a goose-quill. Suffer? rin’ so much as it is watchin’ others enjoy themselves There's more’n four pounds of taffy in that bewery drawer. It's goin’ to waste now 1 but me knows how to stick the d ji her with taffy. The WN miss me too; I did so her in the px jess “bout time when ma was things off'n the tree, They say Job had biles; well, he missed a genuine hunk of pashunce when mumps on a Christmas Biles are bad, but they don’t bother a Now if this case of ‘A DOUBTFUL RELATIVE. Oto Qrixsox—" What! Doan’ wemembah yo" de millionaire, fom Cheesewill, twenty-ft" yeahs ago t* Lirtur Rastes—" N-a-w!" ‘pele Ebenezah Quinson, what used ter twot yer on his ‘nee moah an n'ry of the fa circled fluftiness of silver-stranded what she looked like in her cap of Grandina died, as REMEMBRANCE. Lik -blazing mine-stone in the coronet of thought Comes the scent of Christmas pudding, with its richness oozing out, Which grandma madeso deftly that no other kind or sort Could begin to hold Tecan sce the smell it hi nile toits certainty of gout: PART OF THE BUSINESS. Coukor-nnen REPORTER (rushing into restaurant to hia chief)" Mr. Slasher, in the latest tion of the Trumpet editor Jenks calls you a doubledyed har, and threatens to thrash you on si What shall we do about it Eorron Stasnen—" Oh, that’s all right. ALow me to introduce you to Mr. Jenks. dine together.” We generally umps had tackled me durin’ un day I wouldn't kick; but I’n prime an’ healthy when there's anything tough goin’ on to school. H fun down in the parley? I oughter be there with the cat an’ de ‘stead of that I'm up here in bed with a pair of jaws on me like a set of loves. I oughter git right up an’ howl with joy, I had; I oughter git pistol an’ celebrate an’ tear up things in gen'ral. Well, I couldn't my toes was burnin’. I'm weaker 'n a cat an’ my heart's heavy ‘nuf kers to a eel-pot. Course I oughter feel glad ‘cause my little brothers an’ sisters an’ cousins is havin’ a good time. Say, I’m so mean ‘bout these mumps that I wish the whole caboodle of ‘em was spread ‘mong my little bro thers an’ sistet n’ cousins; then I'd make jess a Christmas they'd never for: Mumps hain’t got no license to jump in an’ knock out Christmas in one roun’ H. 8 RELL lers SOMETHING APPROPRIATE. “T'm in search of a useful present for a literary gentleman,” said a prim young lady, entering a book-store. “"In what branch of literature is he interested 2” “He's a paragrapher on a religious paper.” “In that case,” returned the bookseller, “I would suogest an almanac.” comicbooks.com