Judge — December 1887 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

6 RAISINS. You can’t tell how good a boy is by the number of things in his stocking. The bright boy can't see what he is going to get by sleeping with one eye open. The small boy soon gets the hang of the Christmas stocking. Ifa girl eats enough mince pie, she will dream of her future husband. The best thing in the stocking is always down in the toe. The pie the small boy steals often makes him sick. The man with the gout is rather heavily handicapped. The naughty boy gets his Christmas box baintin’ in Eurobe. on the ear. CHRISTMAS AT STEUFELBECKER'S. *Peesness vos a little dull, hut dem cheeltren is loocky to hef a fader dot learns fresgo- MISTAKE IN HIS CREATION. Robert Garrett is a comparatively young man, but has accumu- lated over one hundred pairs of trousers. How happy he would have been if he had been born a centi- pede, instead of a Napoleon of telegraphy. CHRISTMAS PROPRIETY. When the wooden-legged man gota pair of skates he was mad; but what was his anger in comparison with that of the man without arms who got a pair of gloves? REASSURED. Host ‘persuasively)—“ Miss Elegant, won't you kindly gratify the company with one of your latest selections on the piano? They admire your style 50 much. Basnrut Younc Lapy—*O! Mr. Goodfellow—I'm such a bashful thing—I can never play well when anybody is listening.” Host (assuringly) —** Oh, don't let that worry you ; nobody will listen, I'm sure. PLUMS. One little boy often gives another the measles. The old maid never gets under the mistle- toe by mistake—she gets there intention- ally. ‘The fond parent who is overjoyed when his son comes home to spend the holidays, is generally glad when school begins again. Some people make presents in the hope of getting something more valuable in return, Christmas is to the human heart as bar- ber’s lather is to a man’s neck. There is the tender approach, the coy dalliance, and the final spread-over of affection and universal fluidity. They didn’t pay the slightest attention to your last, I know.” comicbooks.com