Judge, 1887-11-26 · page 5 of 16
Judge — November 26, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical pieces typical of Judge's format: **"They Were!"** (top left): A romantic poem with accompanying illustration of a woman, likely poking fun at sentimental Victorian poetry and male nostalgia. **"Couldn't Lose His Fee"** (center): A joke about a miserly, dying patient consulting a physician. The punchline implies the doctor won't waive fees even for a patient's heirs—satirizing medical greed and the mercenary nature of the profession. **"Case of Sour Grapes"** (lower left): Social satire about Mrs. Snarley using a transparent excuse (claiming her husband forbade her attendance) to avoid an unwanted social invitation. **"Didn't Want to Make a Mistake"** (right): A Grand Army veteran (Civil War vet) questions a patriotic banner, suspecting it's actually an advertisement for patent medicine—satirizing commercialism's exploitation of patriotic imagery. **"Buzz Saws"** (right column): A collection of cynical one-liners about human nature, greed, and hypocrisy. These reflect Judge's focus on social observation and mild cynicism about American life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE THEY WERE! Ldare not say. How could { judy their soft. at me the way That angels look When mortals pray. < Was her pore proud or kind? tenes Ide : Rei) ee , It hisperel canoe Tturned to go, iW K, SUM And stole into my heart's recessesso i Wat fp Tthought it sweet, Wat Ni ad And soft and low. hair gold or brown? tell ed- glory wrought on me my eyes beneath her In tenderness I knew full well, Were her feet smas—or large? 'Sh—whisper low— She owned a pair of number nines, you know, Broad at the heel, and spreading at the toe Don’t mention it Tloved her so! } NN a ee a RITTIC &. nf fe ‘“ | COULDN'T LOSE HIS FEE. mW \, rT 7 A miser, troubled with heart disease, finally deci a phy % alvag sician, After the preliminary n the patie ENGLISH LAN( s ~ Dow how much is it rust 2 ISH LANGUAGE. . of horrors « oked exactly like d ould “Thanks, but you're too kind, T ought not to"— : Oh, don't trouble yourself! Your heirs will see that Tam paid.” DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE A MISTAKE. a i CASE OF SOUR GRIPES: Grand army veteran—" What's that banner dog up there across : Sle 1 the street 7° _ Did Mis, Boodle give you an invitation for me ¢* asked Mrs Plan aidltiaey GiUBLLT aaNLcKNOw, IL OBRR aie Snarley plied her friend. i r Cleveland, but I yuess it is the picture of a patent med glad.” she said; “ because I told my husband this morn- . thing could induce me to go.” Grand army man—" Well, to make everything sure TI just step around by a side street.” BUZZ SAWS. You can't blame the hen fora pad egg. A good salesman to yet rat often gets caught twice » human rake serapes very little together. The bad boy who tells a whop apt to get a whopping. There is more money than honor in being a labor candidate. We have often to play the game of life when we haven't any trumps. When the bald-headed man goes to the theatre he grows short sighted. an who agrees with ing expects to be paid ing up according to his size thinks himself bi r than he i The burglar who breaks into a house at midnight a woman almost to de: need of telling her to hold up her hands, because that is the first AFRAID OF A DROUGHT. thing a woman does when she is Jem chillan’s done beara dese probisum meus say dey mus drink cole water, an’ dey's jist turn loos on de well ‘aired ileal’ yu" Glasgo, Vietoria, Esau, Perly, xtop dat! Guess yo" dan want ter rave yo" poo ole macuny auff tee wash wid. seared. Dere now! Al comicbooks.com