Judge, 1887-11-19 · page 12 of 16
Judge — November 19, 1887 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily an **advertising compilation** with minimal editorial cartoon content. The main satirical piece is the brief editorial paragraph titled "If we were called upon to suggest an improvement..." This short text humorously proposes that humans should have the physical ability to "kick themselves" with the same ease they kick others or animals (particularly mules). The joke references common frustrations—stepping on women's dress trains, arriving late to train depots, and attending poor theatrical shows—situations where self-directed anger would be justified. The satire gently mocks human nature and our tendency toward self-recrimination. The attribution to the "Dansville Breeze" suggests it's a reprinted piece. The remainder consists entirely of period advertisements: Allcock's Porous Plasters, K. Cockle's Anti-Bilious Pills, Sohmer Pianos, and Barney & Berry's skating equipment. The "Dont be a Clam" insurance advertisement appears at bottom. This is essentially a **late 19th-century advertising page** with minimal satirical content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE When either through or some unavoidable cause you get overheated, cool “off suddenly, catch cold, headache, nervous dis- orders, anda thousand and one other troubles. The best thing todois—after ‘ou have contracted one or more of hese pains—to cure yourself as quickly as possible. Small pains are not to be neglected except at the risk of serious consequences. Re- move them at once. It can be done by an application of one or more of ALL- COCK’'S POROUS PLASTERS, recog: nized the world over as the best exter- nal remedy ever made. Ask for ALL- COCK'’S, and let no explanation or so- Nettation induce you to accept a sub- stitute. A GREAT ENGLISH REMEDY. For Bilious and Liver Troubles. imprudence A famous physician, many yearsago, formulated a preparation which effected remarkable cures of . indigestion, ete., and from a large demand and el ntil, after ons have passed, its popularity has become his celebrated remedy inted with the great merits of these y others), and who have ever since re- sorted to their vse in cases of need, commendation is unnecessary. But to those who have not used | them and have no knowledge of their wonderful vir- we now invite attention. ¢ of these Pills in the United States is Their virtues have never varied, will stand the test of any climate. They are pt in ‘ant manner, but ise bestowed upon ith it unnecessary, distasteful, to extol their merits beyond plain, unvarnished statements. Persons afflicted with indigestion or a y bilions or liver trouble, should bear in mind K. ANTI-BILI0vs PILLS,” and should ask for them of their druggists, and if he has not got them, insist that he should order them, especially for ‘th selves, of any wholesale dealer, of w James Cockle & Co., 4 Great Ormond C.C.§ Shayne, Manufacturing Farrier, 103 Prince St., N, ¥. Will retail fashionable Fursand Seal-skin Garments this season, This will afford a splendid op- portunity for ladies to purchase le Furs direct from the pufacturerat lowest possible Fashion book mailed Dont be a Clam IIs (0 | FOR $00. The possession of ac date of this isrue, er followin Schiean Genial tahleh Vali, INSURED &% r YoU ARE & t. McGregor and Lake George. for the termot 5 weeks, provided ‘licy void if detached from rest of THE GRAPHIC BOOM. ‘The Jupar is glad to see that two gentlemen in the employ of the Graphic from the beginning of that paper are connected with it under the new arrangement—Mr. E. C. Brown, long the Graphic ( Shicago office, as business manag Mr. W. T. Perkins as head of the advert! They know whether the concet naking or not, and th uarantee that it is, The paper ix brilliantly edited by Colonel Burr and Henry F. . with many of the old staff to aid. them, and there is no reason why it should not be | a great success. THE CELEBRATED + PIANOS ARE AT PRESENT THE MOST POPULAR AND PREFERRED by LEADING ARTISTS WAREROOMS ; 149 151, 153 185 EAST 14TH STREET,N. Y. OELMESE 8 nection with it is If we were called upon to suggest an improve- ment on the general plan upon which man is | constructed, we would suggret an attachment that would enable him to kick himself with ease, ce, vigor and precision. His facilities for Kicking others are unsurpaiwed. except by the | mule: but when he steps on a lady's dress train or arrives at the depot ten minutes behind ¢ or pays fifty cents to attend a bum show, he feels the need of a self kicker.—Dansville Breeze, PHILADELPHIA, PA- 1119 Chee ILL.) 209 Wabash Avenue. 922 Market St. BALTIMORE, MD., 7 N. Charles Street. THE REASON WHY 'S. S. Sleeper & Gors IN. &S CIGAR, “Get onto the dog,” said the flee to the fly; “Come off,” said the coming event ; Said the thread to the needle, “It’s all in your eye Then we reached for our hat and went. —Oil City Blizzard. fd Sumatra wrapper by thetest workme a Artificial F by mail $1 toread allth medicines—whe ticulai mankind, womankind, and even “ babykind,” are heir to, How cheap one feels to commence what she supposes to be a tragic or tender love- story, read until hersympathies areso thoroughly aroused that she can scarcely sleep without | knowing whether they were married or not, and then have it end something like this: ‘Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is the only positive cure for all classes of “female weakness,” such as prolapsus, inflammation, periodical pains, etc. For sale by all druggists.” Dr. Pierce's Pellets are Laxative or Cathartic, according to size of dose. THE FAVORITE LINE TO cauonen, The Great Rock Island (C. & P. Ry), offers a choice of routes beyond Sion River, on both single and round trip tickets. First class | excursions every week. Rates as low as the low- est. Trains composed of elegant day coaches, |superb dining cars, magnificent chair cars ani Pullman Palace sleeping cars. For full informa- | lolbrook, G.T. & P. J 8.8. STaEPan a & CO. E “poston Franhlin Macueagh & Co., Chicago. Price, $12. A PERFECT MACHINE. Any one can use it for business purposes or | home use. | Basy Action, Rapid Work, Durable, Complete. ny where C. O, D., with pF n, and, if not satisfactory by merely paying express cl Address SUN TYPEW 9 Broa tion, address, E. A. both ways, cago, Ill. ‘A prominent pi jan in Berlin, Germany, has f st discovered that Catarrh can readi by CARLL, itt Tablets,t y covery was accidental. eously suffered from Dyspepsia ‘and Catarrh were ured from the latter complaints, thereby proving that perhaps most cases of catarrh are created by Dyspepsia or Indigestion. “PACE, HANDS, FEET, sett cto cand c ion. Dt reiehe Wi, Woess Sarl ‘st. Albany, 3° »Chi- », wnnay &; + Wysoe bre kon as TALL extRa ‘ (MADE FROM SELECTED COWDEN LEAF meats KINNEY TOBACCO CO ,. 2 Me % BERRY’S CAN RINK easy. Stamps for catalogue. presser, t3pe. 8 cards, &e., to the factory, KELSEY & CO. Meriden, Con. SSK = Pha BARNEY | BARNEY & BERRY eens is te aera Der CATALOGUE FREE. |. ci= A Hardware Dealers und Sporting CROSBY'S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. For 15 years has been a standard remedy with Physicians treating mental or nervous disorder Not a secret. It aids in the bodily and wonderfully in the mental growth of children, Young men with impaired mental faculties can regain their strength by its use. It restores the energy lost by nervousness, debility, over-exertion : refreshes weakened vital powers in old or young. — A Vital Phosphite, not a Laboratory Phosphate or soda water absurdity. It is used by the Emperoa Dom Pedro, Bismarck, Gladstone and other great brain workers. For sale by druggists, or mail, $1. F. CROSBY CO., 56 West 25th Street, N copy of this fssue of Jubak is equivalent to a free railway accklent Life policy for five hundred dollars 12 railroads : Pennsylvania Railroad, New York Central & Hudson River, West Shore, Laxe Shore an ‘Delaware & Hudson Canal Co., Chicago & Alton. N. Y...N. H. & H.R. R. Co., Boston € Albany Re R. Tn case of injury by accident on any of these raflroads, the Jepor Pratismixo Co. will pay yo your hame appears upon its books as an annual subscriber to Jcoae, “Write your name oa Ls ine—policy Invalid without paper. week from the comicbooks.com