Judge — November 12, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JULGE * How is the market for man with long hair, ashort milita C resembled an obdurate parent in the presence of a spendthrift son, in that they would not come down, and there was an apparent coldness them and the expectant feet. On his left breast was a large suspended by a ribbon. nere ¢” said the president as he looked around pairof trousers which & hth North Carolina and am not recon- na veteran of the structed,” said the apparition. ** You look as though you needed it, been skipped by a paternal government, Harkins sadly. Look at this,” said the warworn veteran he tacked up on the wall a large sheet of paper. “It looks lixe a diagram of a cancer from a work, Horatio,” said the president. Ora sheet of fly paper covered with cater- pillars,” said Bostick gently. “It is illustrate the raid into and the battle of Salt ngry veteran, “T never heard of it,” said the wondering president. “Of course not; if you had it would not be new. I not in the ranks. [was assistant djutant general nsportation and. served pwn hook, ted angrily. pardon, ut were your du rimuals for transportati ¢ It was safer than serv What says my friend Clarence Ratferty Meet trease Butta) ‘Would rath * How is the market for war articles Teapoils the Jo Is ear e ‘The dyes they use fail to Ful rather live to tell it whe struck the blows And still Kve on to tell it * Forsooth,” said the president, ‘thy poem hath a music: and much good sense vithal. But where is thy war article yonder delirium tremens of art which ye call a map ere, Your exc Hency,” " said the irate veteran, * and is ca Surprise at Salt Creek.’ It was a beautiful day in the autumn of 1 Kentucky was blushing red at the exposure of General Bragg’s army to the combined alt of General Buell and the cholera morbus. The vi y and got to Louisville first, but it was the only instance during the war. I was at that t assistant adjutant general of transportation and my duties kept me continually on detached ser especially during engage: ments. I had « else. When not detached ring which by order I could detach myself. I had noticed that Braggs's army was suffering for lack of transportatic Thad gone on foot behind the army for over three thousand miles. My feet aad swollen to the size of a hardware-drummer’s val enever [came toa stream or lake large enough I as by uu will see, Grant was in Mississippi, McClellan was’ in Virginia, and R M. T. Hunter spending the summer in the country with his family. Just at that time the Monitor was i ented and Susan B. Anthony was organizing her first campaign. Th sew machine was coming into general use and Lyd - ham was in the full flush of her maiden beaut: When the tide of war rolled along the fertile fields of Kentucky, at Bards- town, I rolled along down into Bullet county in search of transportation. The first frosts of winter had tinged the fad- ing hillside of Salt Creek when in a large meadow I discovered a fine bay transportation about sixteen hands high. I was transported. I hurried back to Bardstown to turn over my transportation to the chief of staff. Bragg had commenced that great strategic movement which he thought could be best finished in a warmer climate and was following the isothermal line into Tennessee. I could not turn over my transportation, so I sold it toa man and thought I would send the money to Bragg by mail, but all communication was cut off and there I was. If you look on the map you will see the spot marked with a red star. About that time the unpatriotic wretch who owned the horse had me arrested and I fell into the hands of the Union forces "— “Stop right there!” said the president. medal you wear ?” made it, excellency, out of the cover of a tin box.” * You never served ina rebel regiment,” and his worship frowned. “ T never said I did, as on detached service.” “You are not a southern man clinging tothe lost cause. You are a belated hop-picker from Montgomery county. Janitor, prepare the bag. telle. We have no bouncer. We are kindly people and inclined to mercy. but frauds in liter. ture must be suppressed,” and a sad smile of pity crept over the kindly, aged face of the president. ‘The janitor, assisted by Skaggs, brought ina large straw bed and laid it down before the veteran. ay, look here, cap! none of your tri travelers. I cam ave a little fun with the boys. Let up, will you ?” and the warworn man turned pale. Before his feet lay the enormous straw bed, and as he looked down upon itascuttle opened in the ceiling above him and at a signal from the president another enormous straw bed swung by two ropes came down likean enormous pendulum and smote him an awful blow behind and knocked him into the middle of the bed before him. The other covered him and the liv- ing sandwich was caught up by willing hands and borne three time around the room to the following sad dinge. Where did you get that So the deadly bagatelle Holds him in its w Hold bim ta thy mystic spell? Then they took the whole outfit to the top of the stairs and let it slide down and out into the velvety darkness of the night. “Thus be it ever with literary frauds,” said the president as he wiped away a tear. ~ THE OLD PROFESSOR. comicbooks.com