Judge — October 1, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

over forever because he is fifty. one. Pshaw ! TI Thomas is not s with that as with ind The joke regarding the Chi- cago girl's foot has gone far enough. It istiresome, and ought to be stopped. If it isn't stopped the girl will presently lift the foot and kick the earth sky-high. Georgia has e written offers of marriage since ske began her work, and when she reflects that she has been married fourteen years it makes her very sad A young married lady in this city wants a divorce because her husband has been making love to her aunt. It seems that her grand- mother is dead ; otherwise she would be more unhappy still. They used to have huskings, but we dare say there are just as many country marriages now as there were then. 1, the cider is not so enticing. and the pump- kin and mince pies have lost much of their flavor. THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG. Stenographer Osgoodby Mamata—" Is it hing serious, doctor +" Puvatcian-“"f am afraid it fa, madam, What has the boy been eating 7° Rochester sends us one of his little M. ara" T can't imagine, I'm sure. I noticed he looked a litte pale yesterday. and I got him up a simple little dinner with my short-hand books, and havi own hauda, last night, bu spread it on our table—with Hanoto (gripingly)—"” M-mama belongs tu the B-barmecide cooking club, doctor.” molasses, mark you—the h = glyphics have caught more flies HUM OF THE COURT. than would have alighted on any amount of vinegar, and broken their . - en . legs short off away up to the waist. The little wretches took it for Proverb—A stitch in time saves an immensity of profanity. There is but one more centennial—that of Dr. Mary Walker. Now the politician wears his hat on his left ear and goes about with The Detroit Free Press says Mr. Bismarck has found something his upper lip thrust out with determination. He also smokes a cigar, better than bologna sausage. Is—is it beer ? and the lighted end is thrust up so far that it nearly burns his nose. Ge wt Ross of Texas has pardoned 350 convicts in seven months. There must be an election around there somewhere. Much is said about the oyster, but the fall sausage has to fry its own praises. Seven brides have been killed on their wedding days this year, but the matrimonial holocaust will go right on. Kalakaua once peddled bananas, and it'sa great pity he didn’t succeed at it well enough to stick to the business. They say that Seth Low made the best speech at the Saratoga convention, and we believe that thus Seth Low himself That is a puzzling question presented by somebody, “If love is blind how can there be such a thing as love at first sight 2” After all, it would do no good to lock John Sullivan up, for drunkenness or anything else. He could ly Knock himself out Brother Burchard is for Cleveland ; so that, after all, he did that alliterating fraudulently and with the mere purpose of alliter- ating. The surplus amounts to over a hundred million dollars, and seventy million people are not smart enough to tell what to do with it. A Georgia colored woman foun: mond ring in an e; The only scientific explanation of this is the old one. that the colored woman lied. The Chicago Mail calls itself the Maud S. of journalism. Possibly; but it has apparently lost its shoes, is off its feed, and 1s knock-kneed and badly spavined They tell of a Tennessean who sued for a divorce because his wife sat on the hired man’s knee. That is odd. What are men hired for if not to do the hard work ? What a card it would be for the county fair to have D. B. Hill married on a high platform and in the gaze of ten thousand delighted individus but it cannot be. “Thistle bea great race" remarks the Rochester Post- Express. Tut, tut! It Mayflower out in a different and hence, and for this kind of melancholy joke, these Voluntee! WHEN CUPID SNICKERED. Wiaarxs (iho haa nervedt himself to ask her papa’s consent)—" Sir, Thave just returned frou the concert--with Miss DeJones—and finding you alone—" +p, : . ae a Detoxes (of Chicago)— That’sall right, my boy—broke, eh ? Here's a twenty. Her mother Thomas W. Parsons says in a poem that jesting for him is used toclean me out the samme way!" comicbooks.com