Judge — August 27, 1887 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE bot Be teteact TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. OXITED TATRA AND CANADA, [8 ADVANCE. One copy one One copy st orl} SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $ a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (PoTTER BUILDING), Park How, New York. 2 We guarantee advertisers a laryer circulation at cheaper rates than any Amer- fean aatirieal paper published. Sam RANDALL . has been dancing, and they say he did ‘it w ith the grace of a gay guzelle. Just about, we imagine. Ir WOULD SEEM to be necessary for the president to write a letter ng that George William Curtis has hurt his feelings. Times that George Jones, since the lecture Surtis, is the lonesomest man in town. Ir 18 4 SIGN of tl utterances of Mr. KALAKava Has Now mere ly the authority necessary to draw his salary; but that suits him pretty well—David is not proud. Grover To Groroe WILLIAM— Perhaps {t was well to dissemble your love, But why did you kick me down stairs ? A RAILROAD ACCIDENT that kills 200 persons amounts to wholesale murder, and murder of even the ordinary kind ought to be pun- ished with the rope. Tr DO NOT SAY now that John Sullivan is champion of the world. Th say he is the premier of it. It is a nicer word, and it comes from Boston, It 1s UNDERSTOOD that Messrs. Ferry and Boulanger will fight when the cows come home, and in this case the cows are dilatory and their necks totally without ration pretty well after all; but the more sig- nificant truth is that there is no other place to put his ardent affections in. THE RECENT atmospheric di turbances and the extraordinary colors of an unanticipated aurora borealis were xplained until it transpired that Murat Halstead had gone to Europe. If THERE 18 anything that makes a rural editor mad it is to get up a fresh-air fund and im- mediately have the weather turn so cold that overcoats are neces- sary and you can't catch any fish. A PLEA. and'pa in a cold-blooded way, trial, his honor to soften, \d-like and innocent way, “Don't be hard, judge, upon a poor orphan.” THEY TELL of a lady who was not afraid to be called a woman ; yet itis just worth mentioning that a mere woman is so tickled when she is called a lady that she shows herself to nothing of that kind. Criticism IN LE. CIL on the fly-leaf of an old book—‘In this book there are some things which are new and some which are good; but the good things are not new and the new things are not WHICH IS PAR BETTER. It is mentioned as a compliment to Mr. Cleveland that he usually succeeds in saying what he means; but it may be stated with more ANOTHER APPLICATION OF THE “SLOT” SYSTEM. peculiar force, speaking of the Jupae’s lovely candidate, riably succeeds in meaning what she says. On your laurels rest awhile, For we like y Mr. Higgins, You are famous, it would seem, And you'd make a nobby team If you'd double up with Wiggins, Mr. Higgins. Mr. Higgins, O, Democratic Higgins! Certain facts were brought to light, And if Grover would act right, Mr. Higgins, He would use his little axe, Causing you to make quick tracks To your own respected diggin’s, Mr. Higgins. P. J.D. THE NEW FISHERY TROUBLES with Canada are of no possible account—quite uninteresting and trivial; and at the same time it is strange and annoying that William C. Whitney can’t get those cruis- ers ready. “Tam Not afraid of thieves, burglars, or any kind of profe: . ional scoundrel,” is a freque! ark in this city; great apprehension wii counter a policeman in a lonely place of a dark night.” . VENOM. The Albany Argus in revi ing a scandal twenty regarding a dead brot! ator Hiscock has shown an in- genuity of meanness and malice equaled by few and excelled by none. A paper guilty of t ought to be so at war with th world that it would find i ifying to apply opprobrious epi thets to the common mother whose weakness expelled her from the garden of Eden, Iv Is SO STRANGE that a youth should have perished of cigarettes when he smoked only sixty of . And yet if he taken six square me he would have —if he had survived his landlady SoMEBODY TAKES the pains to declare that Miss Cleveland has a fond affectien for Mrs. Cleveland, and incidentally says the latter gets her majestic riage solely from her father. So it is Mrs. Folsom that has the nity, is it ? THEIR COMPETITIVE SIMPLICITY. Governor Hill refused to accept an elegant bathing suit tendered him, selecting instead a democratic fifty-cent one and thereby calling out the enthusiasm of the attending populace. That is Jeffersonian simplicity ; but we understand President Cleveland proposes hereafter is dinners in his shirt-sleeves, wear thick-soled, cowhide boots, and spit tobacco juice over. the su summer stove. Frank Hatton's PAPER says that before | twenty years Chic: will be the metropolis of the United States, and adds, ‘ This is no idle boast.” No, it is not idle. It must have required a great deal of I: to produce such foolish ness as that. “THE MORMON IDEA. No unmarried woman, according to Mormon theology, can go to Now we believe that no woman who is unmarried from choice wants to go to heaven; and the question may be, not what she shall do without heaven, but what shall heaven do without her? It is well enough to give everybody a fair argumentative chance, and it ; comicbooks.com