Judge, 1887-08-13 · page 10 of 16
Judge — August 13, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains political satire from the Gilded Age (likely 1880s). The main poem, "Make Allowance for the Kick," uses a German-accented immigrant character ("der Old Professor") to offer folk wisdom: just as a cannon's recoil damages a ship if not properly braced, politicians pursuing corruption ("boodle") without moral foundations will eventually face consequences they didn't anticipate. The cartoon critiques both machine politics and mugwump reformers (Republicans who abandoned their party over civil service reform). Other brief items mock: Grant's refusal of a mansion gift due to congressional timidity; dueling by newspaper rather than pistols (French vs. American methods); and a Native American ("Red Shirt") awkwardly adopting English social pretenses. The humor targets late 19th-century political hypocrisy, immigrant stereotypes, and social climbing—using vernacular dialect for comic effect in ways now considered offensive but then standard satirical practice.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MAKE ALLOWANCE FOR THE KICK. BY WILHELM STRAUSS. I PIN readin’ in der bapers auf der trial mit der guns On board auf dot At- lanta mit ein hun- dert pounded shot ; “se shoots der cannon ball all right, but when she backward runs The kicks der planks all off der ship in firin’ two, tree rounds, Demi fellers dot got oop dot ship vas puild it strong unt tight, Dot cannon unt dot powder dey vas shootin’ strong unt wick ; But uf you carry cannon you must make your planking tight, You must alway make allowance for der kick. Unt aind it so, my shildrens, uf goes in politics Your boot unt gilde ike a Powery lager sign, r fellers Me ck comb 8 to vork, a boodle looms in view, his friends exactly how to work dot leedle trick, But, "shiminy crac! ven he shoots hi plans all tumble trough, e hadn't made allowance for der kick. t boom off den dem und MH i ¥ gots So, shildrens, uf you puild for speed or shtyle or simple strength Dot's right you post vat you vant to sail dot se But uf you got some battles mit some drouples comes at length It vas pesser dot you plank der deck to stand a leedle strife. To be a mans you got to vote unt marry unt get gelt, You must be square unt solid uf you want to pin a bri You jot to hafe some muscle uf you want to wear der bel Unt you got to make allowance for der kick. Tue oLp paoresson. THE JUDG “'S CHARGE. IT CANT BE HAD. An article is headed ‘Napoleon After W hasn’t the old man had his fill of that experiment yet ¢ Heavens ! BALANCED. A woman's heart is weak, but nature's Have made her will more iron than am THE SITUATION. The question is apparently not whether Mr. Cleveland shall drop the mugwumps, but whether the mugwumps shall drop Mr. Cleveland NOT TOO SUMPTUOUS. Brother Talmage insists that his crown in heaven shall be of gold, but shall weigh less than fifty pounds. The good man likes gorgeousness, but he is bound to be com- ie { fortable. { ule "THE MAN WHO TALKS." is man tells first- rate stories, and some of them appear in number one of the ials, just le every- Adimein this out and for s where. instance buys genuine enjoyment than can be had inany more The Grantcottageat Mt. McGregor, through the generos- HIS IDEA OF IT. ity of Mr. Joseph W. By gum : these is ther best kind o'doorl Drexel, goes to the save a heap o' trouble openin* ba out the hoses apd caows jest ETUNd army of the fas well as t'other Kind.” republic. Thegovern- ment, as represented by congress, had no time to accept the gift ; or, if it had time, it feared to do so because of some reason yet to be give Years hence a curious public will search for that reason with a feeling of much astonishment, and we don’t believe it will ever be discovered AT THE OLD TRADE. Death, killing Dr. Purge, is business did not kill ; His former patients still. THE BETTER WAY. France is behind the age. The leading men of this country fight their duels by newspaper. It isn’t as dignified as the old method, but it is far safer, Nobody gets killed, and in consequence there is no hanging and no flight. SOCIETY INTELLIGENCE. The Hon. Mr, Red Shirt, who is going rather extensively into good English society, wears his blanket inside outand an extra suspender in honor of his entertainers, and was recently observed to indulge ina new y pipe and a better brand of tobacco than usual, All this regardless of expense. ‘A MODEST DEMAND. understand, sir, that you require the services of a commercial traveler.” 1a pret a fifty thousand insuray andays,” policy. A man can't HE C/N BE TRUSTED. A Mexican paper says with a great appearance of anxiety that Uncle Sam has designs on Mexico, Undoubtedl. strictly honorable. For instance, he de: NOTHING SMALL ABOUT THEM. herman says Blaine and he are the best of friends, that if Blaine i a gentleman. publican ; nas well. and the sentiment NOTHING COMPLETE. I like not age nor youth : PERHAPS NEXT WEEK. to give the name of the Siamese prince now be concluded in one number, but the task is too arduous for this hot weather, when the only thing that has am- bition as the chmbing mercury. We hope presently